This Saturday, July 4, 2026, marks 250 years of independence from our British overlords.

Or does it?

The day we’re commemorating is July 4, 1776, when delegates at the Second Continental Congress voted for independence from Britain. Declaring independence in this way is the equivalent of telling your bank that you no longer want to pay your mortgage (albeit a mortgage that keeps increasing) while still living in the house. You don’t actually own the house just because you told your bank you’re no longer making payments. When you stop making payments, the bank will demand compliance or send someone to evict you. And for seven years, this is what the British tried to do.

The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War was the Battle of Yorktown, which ended in October 1781, when American and French forces defeated the British. However, other smaller battles, both on land and at sea, continued into 1783. It was only when the Treaty of Paris was signed on September 3, 1783, that the war for American independence officially ended.

I’m quite certain that those American Patriots didn’t exactly feel the yearned-for “Safety and Happiness” of independence while attempting to row across the icy Delaware River on Christmas night in 1776, or while enduring years of battle with meager pay, scarce food, tattered clothing, and little ammunition. As you celebrate this Fourth, consider that the day marks 250 years since our declaration of independence; it’s been 243 years since we officially earned independence with the Treaty of Paris. We can celebrate 250 years of actual independence in 2033.

So, I say, Happy 243^rd Birthday, America!

Whether you celebrate 250 years or 243 years, it’s important to understand the history of our independence and how long it took to earn it. And more than time, what it took in terms of lives, money, effort, determination, and alliances. Declaring that you’re independent and being independent are two different things, and maintaining your independence is something else altogether. We didn’t just have to earn independence; we’ve had to keep it.

As you’re singing along to “The Star-Spangled Banner” and watching fireworks—the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air—keep in mind that our national anthem was written during the War of 1812, another war we fought against Great Britain on our home turf in North America. It lasted nearly three years. And 46 years after the War of 1812, our nation divided in a Civil War. More than 600,000 people died, all Americans. At Gettysburg alone, there were more than 50,000 casualties. After four years, the brutal Civil War came to a close in 1865, and President Lincoln was assassinated. In the next 160 years, three more U.S. presidents were assassinated and others survived assassination attempts, the country endured the Great Depression and multiple recessions, two World Wars and many other wars and battles, and countless other challenges to our unity and independence.

There are many reasons why our country has maintained its independence for so long. We are blessed with tangible qualities like abundant natural resources, borders with only two countries, and the buffer of two oceans. But just as important are our intangible qualities, like representative democracy, real and intellectual property rights, personal rights, and an entrepreneurial spirit. Americans are generally optimistic, inventive, risk-taking, and hardworking.

But I sense that we’re slipping.

Though we haven’t come under oppression by a foreign power, we are coming under oppression by a different type of ruler, one to whom we are voluntarily surrendering our independence. It’s eroding us from within, not from without. We invited it into our lives and our homes, and now we are paying it an ever-increasing mortgage, one that will never result in ownership.

We created the internet, smartphones, social media, and streaming to make the world more open, connected, and smarter. And though we’re more digitally connected, it has come at the cost of human connection and cognition. We’ve become more divided and disconnected and dumber.

We assumed endless news, entertainment, and content would provide fulfillment and enlightenment. Yet people are more confused, anxious, stressed, depressed, and suicidal. We wanted to be omniscient, yet we are overwhelmed by all we see in the world. We wanted to be omnipotent, but we’re overwhelmed by all there is to do when we’re told to do it all.

It’s made people want to hunker down, isolate, curl up, and scroll for answers and solace in the same place that created so much confusion in the first place. We’re constantly busy, constantly plugged in, constantly seeking satisfaction and distraction to avoid having to think about it all.

It’s time to stage a rebellion against our rulers! It’s time to reclaim independence from our digital devices and addiction.

How, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, a world in which computers, cell phones, and ceaseless streaming didn’t exist. How would you spend your free time? What would you do with your evenings and weekends?

My guess is you’d do what people did 50 years ago. You’d spend more time with your family, friends, and neighbors. You’d join clubs. You’d go to church. You’d go to the bar. You’d go on walks around the neighborhood and hikes in nature. You’d tell your kids to play outside after school and all day on Saturday. You’d listen to live music. You’d listen to music at home as a family, without headphones. You’d learn to play music. You’d have more in-person conversations, more phone conversations by voice instead of text, and write more letters. You’d enjoy peace from distraction, enough peace to do nothing but think about things and create things, and then do it again because there was that much time to do so. You’d get bored, and it would be okay.

You’d take up arms! Or rather, take up into your arms a book and arm your brain with knowledge and resolve. You’d slog through it, spending time in the trenches—in the tough prose, the tedious paragraphs, and the twisting story line. You’d do it for America! You’d do it for yourself. You’d do it with friends and family members.

If it took seven days, seven weeks, seven months, or even seven years to form or reform the habit and earn our independence, it’d be worth it. You would be better for it. Our nation would be better if we all did it. Changing habits in life is hard, especially when you’re fighting against the digital dopamine dispensers surrounding us, so expect your brain to push back.

Our digital devices encourage immediacy, ease, passivity, and isolation, yet the best things in life usually require time, effort, determination, and alliances—just remember what it took for those early American Patriots to earn their independence.

Footnote

If you’re looking for more information, resources, or tools, I recommend the following books. I’ve included the published date of each work to show how long others have been sounding an alarm on this topic. They’re all great reads.

• Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business by Neil Postman (1985).

• Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert Putnam (2000).

• The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to our Brains by Nicholas Carr (2010).

• Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter (2017).

• How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life by Catherine Price (2018).

• Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport (2019).

• The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt (2024).

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Reflections: on Caring for an Aging Parent:

Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

I loved Mom, but we knew, for everyone’s sake, that living with me and my wife wasn’t really an option. During shorter recovery stays with us she ignored some of our basic house rules and acts of common courtesy, which was frustrating. Given our personality, political, and lifestyle differences, having her live with us indefinitely would have been a recipe for conflict. But more than that, I didn’t think my wife and I could provide the physical support and medical care that Mom regularly needed.

I have a great deal of respect for families who can make multi-generational living work. It is not for everyone. If you are an older person wondering why your adult children may hesitate to have you move in, it may be because living with others requires adaptation from everyone. Growing older does not give you a free pass. This is especially true if you’ve been living by yourself for years and doing things you like to do when you like to do them. Living with people is difficult—all parties must be willing to adjust. No one has “earned the right” to be stubborn or stuck in their ways, nor, frankly, is it healthy.

As we sorted through Mom’s house, we were also beginning deeper conversations about independent living and assisted living. She did not want to leave her house, lose her freedom, or pay thousands of dollars per month for care. However, she agreed to visit one independent living place in Austin a few weeks before the urinary tract infection incident. At the time of that visit, she did not want to move out of Austin because all her doctors were there (she had quite a few), and she did not want to find new ones. After the urinary tract infection and rehab, she was open to moving closer to us in San Antonio.

Types of Places to Live In

Here are some of the options we learned about:

Independent living is essentially an apartment complex for older adults who can still do most things on their own. These facilities usually have a dining area and provide activities for residents. Many times, they may also have a doctor or nurses available in the facility. They may also have a full kitchen, to include oven and cooktop, in the apartment.

Assisted living is for those who need help with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) or Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs). ADLs are the basic functions of daily life—things like bathing, dressing, toileting, eating, moving around, and getting in and out of bed. IADLs are the broader tasks that allow a person to live independently, such as managing medications, shopping, preparing meals, handling money, keeping track of appointments, using transportation, and dealing with household tasks. Normally, assisted living will have nurses in the facility, and may have a doctor as well. For safety reasons, assisted living rooms do not normally have ovens or cooktops.

What I learned is that many older adults can hold on to a sense of independence longer than they can actually hold on to the practical abilities that independence requires. A person may say, “I can still live on my own,” and what they mean is, “I do not want to surrender control.” But if they are missing medications, falling, unable to manage paperwork, living in filth, or unable to prepare food safely, then the issue is not whether they feel independent. The issue is whether they are safely independent.

Your price for assisted living will usually be based on a base rate (typically determined by the type, size, and location of the room you want) as well as how much help you need from the staff. The more ADLs you can handle on your own, the lower the price. There are usually ADL “levels of care,” or tiers, each with its own price. Some facilities use a four-tier system, some use a five-tier system, and I’m sure there are even six-tiered systems out there. The more help you require with ADLs, the higher your level/tier will be, and the more you will pay on top of the base rate. Unfortunately, it is not always clear what type of ADL care falls into each tier; instead, the tier you fall into it is often based on a holistic assessment and determination by a nurse.

Your ADL tier can also change. It could go up after a major surgery, when you need someone to help you get dressed until your arm gets better, and then it could go back down once you recover. Generally, though, as you age, your ADL needs will increase, which means your price will likely increase as well. Regardless of whether your ADL requirements and costs go up, the overall cost of assisted living, independent living, or memory care will also likely increase annually with inflation.

A nursing home, also referred to as a skilled nursing facility, is focused on intensive, 24/7 skilled nursing care. This is full support with multiple medical staff and orderlies. Though Mom had numerous medical issues, she did not need to go into skilled nursing.

The higher the level of care a facility, like a nursing home, provides, the more efficient the facility must be with their staffing and layout, which usually translates to more communal and open areas where staff can keep an eye on multiple people and rooms at the same time.

A memory care facility is specifically focused on individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Sometimes, these residents may be in fairly good physical condition but still cannot safely live on their own, or sometimes even with others, because of risks to their own safety or the safety of others.

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When we started discussions with my mom about independent living and assisted living, we led with independent living, but we knew that she likely didn’t have the physical autonomy to be able to be there. Once she began to see that, we were able to transition our discussion more toward the support that assisted living could provide her.

One of the hardest parts of this process is that to an aging parent, assisted living can feel like surrender—of privacy, freedom, money, routine, and identity. To the adult child, it can feel like a plainly necessary step. Those two perspectives usually collide. We learned that the conversation went better when we framed assisted living in terms of support rather than loss. Meals. Medication help. Fewer risks if she fell. People nearby. More safety.

With my mom agreeing to explore locations to live in around San Antonio, we went on various websites that rated assisted living places, talked to family members who had walked this road before, and did a ton of research. Ultimately, we ended up narrowing it down to three locations near our home, and we visited each.

Each location did their best to “sell” us on their location. The more they put their sales hat on, the more I was turned off. The more genuine they were, the more I listened. If they were disorganized or late for our appointment, I was unimpressed and wondered if it was a sign of larger mismanagement.

If you’ve never been in an independent living or assisted living facility before, it can be depressing. People sit in wheelchairs, some staring off into the distance, a few doing older-people activities like arm circles and leg raises from their chairs. Very few people look happy. They generally stare at you as you walk by. I’m sure they are wondering if you’re someone’s child or if you’re about to “commit” your loved one to this facility. I should note, though, not all places are like this. In some, the residents would greet us and talk with us about things there—this was encouraging sign.

In the end, we narrowed it down to a place that we were pleased with and that had an immediate opening. In hindsight, we chose the best place possible. The staff were great, the residents were outgoing, and the location was 15 minutes away from our home, far closer than the two-hour drive to Austin.

But even in the past few months, the facility underwent new ownership, then new management.

And this is the trouble with assisted living and independent living facilities--there’s a lot of churn in ownership and management, so today’s best place may not be tomorrow’s best place. It’s hard to figure it all out. The best you can do is stay engaged and communicative with the staff so they know you’re paying attention to what they’re doing and how they’re treating your loved one. You can always move to another facility, as most are on a month-to-month lease, but that means doing more research, visiting other locations, and moving.

After Mom passed, I revisited her assisted living facility to pick up some mail. I thanked some of the staff there who had a positive impact on Mom and told them how grateful I was for their kindness and support. We talked about how hard it is to find a good facility, and I asked one of the staff members what they would do if they had to choose a facility for their loved one.

“I had to put my dad in a facility,” he said, “and despite being in this industry, I ended up having to move him because I realized we made a poor choice initially. My biggest advice is to go visit the facility numerous times and at different times of the day. If the staff have good attitudes and you see them around at all times, day and night, that’s a good sign.”

How to pay for It

Aside from the overall change of moving out of her house and losing some of her freedom, Mom’s biggest concern about moving to assisted living was the cost. The average cost in the U.S. for AL is about $5,500 per month, or $66,000 per year, though prices vary widely. It is expensive. And that’s just for base-level care. Depending on the additional ADLs you need help with the price will go up hundreds of dollars per month. The figure also varies based on location and quality of care.

When it comes to independent living, assisted living, or memory care, do not depend on the government to pay for this. Know this: Medicare does not cover assisted living.

Medicaid, however, might cover assisted living costs. Like most things regarding insurance, it’s complicated how and what they’ll pay for. Every circumstance is different. As I understand it, there are income limits and asset limits for Medicaid to be able to pay for assisted living. Your income must be at or below the poverty level, and you cannot have more than $2,000 in assets—this includes your home and bank accounts.

There are ways to prepare for this, but it’s not simply as easy as transferring your loved one’s assets to another family member, because Medicaid and the IRS pay attention to this. You should definitely talk with a financial professional to see what options are available to you.

To see what Mom could afford, I would need to understand what finances looked like. We’ll cover that in Chapter 6.

Advice

When it comes to choosing an independent living or assisted living location:

• Visit many locations.

• Visit at different times of day.

• Ask about staffing turnover.

• Understand the pricing structure and how care levels affect cost.

• Ask what happens if care needs increase.

• Ask how often rates increase.

• Do not let a polished lobby fool you.

• See what activities they offer.

• See what the dining area looks like and what food options are available (and what the actual food looks like!).

• Watch how staff interact with residents when they don’t think they are being evaluated.

Proximity matters more than you think—being close enough to visit often is a real advantage.

Links to each chapter:

• Introduction - Why I Wrote This

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

Share

The Introduction was a brief background on the passing of my mom and why I’m writing this series.

In Chapter 1, we covered my mom’s growing hoarding problem and our attempts to help her out of that hole.

Chapter 2 told the story of when Mom’s urinary tract infection made her delirious and how I called the police to check in on her.

Chapter 3 discussed aging and medical care.

Now we dive into some things I learned while helping her through medical issues.

Reflections: on Caring for an Aging Parent:

Chapter 4 - Important Documents

Once we started going through Mom’s office paperwork, we realized she had not updated her will in years. Worse, the person named as executor of the will didn’t even know she was the executor.

Sadly, a similar situation happened when my aunt passed away a few years ago. No one knew where her will was located. After searching through the house, it was finally found, and that’s when my aunt’s friend discovered that she was named as the executor. That friend had asked my aunt years before to have her taken off as executor because she didn’t think she could adequately handle my aunt’s estate; my aunt said she would choose a different executor, but never did.

As a comparison, just think of your neighbor and what would happen if they passed away and had designated you as executor, without you knowing. You likely have no idea where their accounts are, what bills have to be paid, or whether you are mentally, physically, or practically prepared to administer an estate without any advance notice. That’s not a fair thing to leave someone with, especially unexpectedly. Naming someone as executor for your estate is not a casual thing. That person needs to know your wishes, where your documents are, and what they are walking into.

So, we met with an attorney and updated a number of Mom’s legal documents.

Though I took her to the appointment and was with her, I made it very clear that I was happy to step out if the attorney needed to discuss anything confidential with her. Honestly, I did not care about her possessions. I cared that the documents were in order for the day when we would have to act on her behalf.

The documents we updated included:

• General Power of Attorney – For me to make broad decisions on her behalf.

• Medical Power of Attorney – For me to make healthcare decisions on her behalf if she was unable to do so.

• Directive to Physicians - Otherwise known as an Advanced Directive. This document designates the conditions under which you want life-sustaining treatment provided. This includes things like a ventilator (for breathing), dialysis (for kidney function), a feeding tube (for eating), or other treatments.

• Will - to designate who would handle her estate upon her passing (otherwise known as the executor) and where her money and possessions would go.

A very important note here: Some people think that they can use a Power of Attorney to handle someone’s affairs after that person passes away, but this is incorrect. A Power of Attorney becomes invalid when the person dies.

I never had to use the General POA because we created a joint bank account while she was alive and because other situations did not arise that would require it. But it was useful to have it in reserve.

The Medical POA and Directive to Physicians proved much more important. The documents gave me legal authority to act, but more than that, they guided me toward what she would have wanted.

People sometimes ask me what I’ve learned from Mom’s passing and whether I’ve made any changes. I tell them that one of the very first things I did was put together a document listing all of my immediate family’s assets (checking, savings, investments, home, cars) and the associated banks and bank account numbers.

• I listed car, home, and life insurance policies—the companies they were held with and the account numbers.

• I discussed our mortgage and property taxes.

• I listed the location of important documents, how to find usernames and passwords, and how to access files on my computer.

• With my wife I discussed how income and pensions would change when I died, what insurance policies would kick in, and some future planning considerations with regard to Social Security.

• And I also discussed my funeral. Though, honestly, I know I won’t be around for it, so I’m pretty much leaving that up to whatever the family wants.

• I now update the document every six months, print off a copy for safekeeping, and also provide an electronic version to my immediate family members.

If that sounds like a lot of work, it was, at first. But once the structure was in place, updating it takes very little time. The peace of mind is worth the work.

I recognize that conversations about death with loved ones is not always easy. Sometimes the conversations are hampered by bad relations, other times it’s a sense of privacy (“We don’t talk about those types of things where I’m from.”), and sometimes it’s from embarrassment about debt or lack of income.

With regard to finances, not talking about them isn’t going to make it easier for your loved ones. If you are in debt and paying those debts will be the responsibility of someone else upon your death (either the executor of your estate or a co-signer), one of the most loving things you can do is have a conversation about it before you pass away. There may be things your loved ones can do to help you while you’re still alive, if you let them.

Advice

A bit of a repeat: have the difficult conversations with your family.

• Most importantly: you should have a will, and it should be up to date.

• Just as important, have a discussion with the person or people you are designating as executor (or co-executors) so they are aware of what you want.

• And, if you want to be even nicer to your loved ones, you’ll create a document that lists important things, like: bank accounts, financials, insurance policies, important logins, and document locations.

• Review beneficiary designations regularly.

• Update documents after marriage, divorce, deaths, births, moves, or major financial changes.

• Do not assume your loved ones know your wishes just because you have mentioned them casually.

Other things to consider:

• A life insurance policy—especially if your family depends on your income to pay bills.

• Advance directives are not just for old people.

Links to each chapter:

• Introduction - Why I Wrote This

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

Share

The Introduction was a brief background on the passing of my mom and why I’m writing this series.

In Chapter 1, we covered my mom’s growing hoarding problem and our attempts to help her out of that hole.

Chapter 2 told the story of when Mom’s urinary tract infection made her delirious and how I called the police to check in on her.

Now we dive into some things I learned while helping her through medical issues.

Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

A few years ago, I had a nagging hip problem. Despite seeing multiple specialists, the issue would not go away. When I finally came full circle back to my primary care doctor, he said, “It just looks like you’re getting older. These kinds of things happen when we age.” It was depressing to think that I might simply live the rest of my life with pain and limitation. In that respect, I could understand some of what my mom was facing. It is depressing when there is no clear hope of getting better.

Whenever I would get frustrated with my mom, I tried to remind myself of that experience. I do not know what it was like to live in her body and feel the pain she felt. I only know that I have had injuries that felt insurmountable, and I know how depressing it can be. I recovered and my mental state improved, so I’m not sure how I would act if the ailments didn’t go away but instead grew and compounded.

For Mom, the hoarding wasn’t just about wanting stuff, her physical inability to keep up with life also contributed to the problem. Because of her medical issues, from autoimmune problems to limited mobility, every day was physically and mentally taxing. That compounded the hoarding in two ways: she could not keep up with cleaning, sorting, and throwing things away, and she also bought more things to try to make life easier.

She was resourceful and crafty in her ways to get by or around limitations. She had more grabber reacher tools than I could count, scissors in every room, and pens in every room. She had neighbors pick up her mail when she could no longer do it herself. She learned that if she called 911 to send a policeman over to pick her up after a fall she might get a bill, but if she called the fire department she would not be billed. And, as she liked to tell me, “Those firemen are stronger and more handsome than the policemen.” I would roll my eyes and tell her I did not approve.

For the last year and a half of her life I went to most of her medical appointments with her. That helped me understand what the doctors were saying and advocate for her when necessary.

The week before she passed, we were seeing a new specialist for a new diagnosis. As is typical with a new doctor, there was a mountain of intake paperwork to provide medical history, insurance information, medications, surgeries, hospitalizations, and allergies. It was time-consuming and frustrating for both of us. I could also see signs of Mom’s memory slipping because she couldn’t remember certain information for the forms. Her handwriting was deteriorating and her hearing was also getting worse. I cannot imagine her handling all of that paperwork alone.

One thing I wish I had done much earlier was create one master document with all of her medical conditions, medications, and personal information. That idea only dawned on me after that appointment. That day, after the appointment, I went home and created it, determined never again to rebuild her medical history from scratch in a waiting room. My plan was simple, the next time we saw a new doctor, I would write “see attached” and hand them the packet. Unfortunately, I only got to use it once, a week later at the hospital where she died.

Below is a blank version of that document in case you’d like to use it. I’m sure there are others available online, so don’t consider this all-inclusive. My intent was not to create the perfect packet of information, but to spare myself from having to reconstruct her entire medical life in the middle of each crisis or waiting room.

Personal & Medical Information

128KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Key topics include:

• Full name, date of birth, Social Security number, and insurance information

• Emergency contacts

• Primary care doctor and all specialists, including phone numbers

• Diagnoses and major medical history

• Surgeries and approximate dates

• Current medications, dosages, and prescribing doctors

• Allergies and reactions

• Preferred pharmacy

• Copies of medical power of attorney, advance directive, and DNR, if applicable

Interestingly, at that same appointment, after answering the many questions about her surgeries and diagnoses, Mom sighed and said, “I can’t wait to be in Heaven, so I don’t have to deal with all of this anymore.” She was serious. Those words came back to me in the ICU a few days later when I had to make very difficult decisions.

Multiple times Mom had to go into rehab, usually following major surgery, because it was not safe for her to return home until she had regained mobility. Getting into rehab meant insurance had to approve it based on what the hospital and therapists documented. That usually meant working with a discharge planner, filling out paperwork, and scrambling to understand which facilities had openings and what would actually be approved by insurance.

As a hospital decides it is time to discharge a patient (a decision often driven by medical stability and insurance) they usually want to know where that person is going next. That is not a small question. You are not just deciding where someone will sleep, you are deciding what level of care they need and who will provide it, what insurance will cover, what location is realistic, and whether they can function safely there.

Rehab is generally short-term with the goal being improvement. You go there because there is hope that therapy and support will restore some function and allow the person either to return home or move to a lower level of care.

Skilled nursing is different. It is less about short-term recovery and more about ongoing support for people who cannot safely care for themselves. Rehab has a finish line in mind. Skilled nursing often does not.

One complicating factor is that the same facility may offer both. Unless you are paying close attention, it can be easy to misunderstand whether your loved one is in a temporary recovery environment or sliding toward a longer-term level of support. This is an important distinction because it affects not only cost and logistics, but also expectations. One of the questions every family has to ask is, “Is this a temporary setback, or is this the new baseline?”

In our case, every rehab stay felt like warning. Hospitalization, rehab, discharge, repeat. Over time, I begin to realize that medical events in old age do not always come and go. Sometimes they ratchet life downward one click at a time.

I will warn you now, skilled nursing facilities can be a shock. Depending on what your insurance covers, you may be in a shared room with space for only two single beds, two nightstands, and a thin curtain to separate you from your roommate. You likely both have TVs mounted on the opposite wall that loudly battle with one another for your attention. Nurses and orderlies come in at various times, sometimes unscheduled in the middle of the night, sometimes long after you’ve pushed your button requesting them. Generally speaking, they are not happy places. I speak from experience.

After Mom had her shoulder replaced, she had to go into a skilled nursing facility. This was really the only option my mom had—I could not provide the attention, care and rehab at home that she could receive there.

The month that my mother was in a skilled nursing facility was torture for her. I had to meet with staff to advocate for her when they wouldn’t listen, would mess up her medications, or would treat her roughly. She had to request room changes due to a roommate who coughed incessantly. I’d visit her nearly every day after work, not just to check up on her, but to show the staff that there was someone watching them and keeping them accountable. One time, I walked into the room and immediately smelled the overwhelming odor of urine. I asked Mom about it, and she said her roommate had pushed the attendant call button more than 30 minutes ago for help to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, but no one had come. I went out, tracked someone down, and was able to get the problem resolved. To some degree, it wasn’t the staff’s fault; they were undermanned and overworked.

Just know this—you can and should do your homework when selecting a rehab or skilled nursing facility. There are websites that provide reviews that you should read through. Then, most importantly, make sure the staff know that you care about your loved one and are actively aware of and engaged with how they are doing.

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One thing that turned into a blessing, though it initially felt like a burden, was taking Mom to appointments. It disrupted my work schedule and required patience with the fact that she was never ready on time. I wish I could say I always relished those opportunities to serve her—brushing her hair, helping her with shoes, rubbing medicine on her shoulder—but that would not be true. There were times I saw it as service. There were many other times it was simply frustrating. Alas, welcome to the true me.

I took encouragement from my mother-in-law, who has cared for more people than I can count. She has cared for aging aunts, disabled cousins, and still cares for her own ninety-eight-year-old mother. People like her remind me that it is possible to show up day after day for people who are frail, messy, dependent, and not always easy to care for.

For me, it was a year and a half with my mom. There are people who do this for much, much longer. God bless them.

Advice

Planning for aging and end of life all starts with a conversation, which can be hard to do. Some families do not want to talk about health decline or death. That is unfortunate, because both will happen whether we talk about them or not.

Ideally, you should talk openly with loved ones about:

• Current and past health issues.

• Wishes regarding resuscitation.

• Wishes regarding your body after death—organ donation, cremation, burial.

• Funeral or memorial preferences.

Additional advice:

• Go to appointments with your loved one when you can.

• Build extra time into medical days. Everything takes longer than you think.

• Bring a notebook or use an app to take notes at every appointment.

• Keep one master medical document and update it regularly.

• Ask doctors to explain things in plain English so you understand what they’re saying.

• Do not assume “rehab” means full recovery. Ask directly whether rehab is expected to restore prior functioning.

• Ask who is making discharge decisions—the doctor, the therapist, the facility, or insurance—and what the discharge decision will be based on.

• Ask what specific abilities your loved one will need in order to return home safely.

• If you are told, “They’re not safe to go home,” take that seriously.

Links to each chapter:

• Introduction - Why I Wrote This

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

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Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

It was a Thursday when we finished going through her office. On Saturday I called to check on her, but the call went to voicemail, which was not unusual. Then on Sunday one of her neighbors texted to say she had not heard from Mom. Again, not always unusual. So I texted and called her again and got no response.

A reasonable option would have been to ask one of her neighbors to go check on her. But they had already done that so many times over the years that I no longer felt right putting that burden on them. Quite frankly, they were burned out. It had begun to scare them, either because the house was disgusting or because they feared that one day they would find her dead. I do not blame them. My mom leaned on her neighbors far more than she should have, and I remain grateful for the help they gave her over the years while my brother and I lived elsewhere. In some ways, that is what neighbors are for. But there are limits.

So instead of asking a neighbor, I called the police and requested a welfare check. The responding officer called me when he arrived. I gave him the code to the garage keypad (something I was glad to have) and talked him through the layout of the house. Sure enough, he found her laying on the floor of her bedroom. She was awake and talking, but she was not making sense.

They took her to the emergency room, and I drove up to Austin to see her. That is when I learned how profoundly a urinary tract infection (UTI) can affect the mind of an older person.

When I asked Mom what had happened, she told me a fantastical story about camping in the woods, being chased, and many other outlandish things. She provided elaborate details about her adventures, each more bizarre than the previous. To her, the story was entirely real.

When she finished, I said, “No, Mom, that’s not what happened. I called the police because we hadn’t heard from you. They found you on the floor of your bedroom. You had been down there at least a day or so.”

“No,” she said, while wagging her finger at me. “That’s not what happened. You think you know what happened, but I really know what happened.”

I knew enough not to argue with someone whose mind was not functioning clearly, so I dropped it. What I did do, though, was ask her to tell me the story again, and I recorded it on my phone.

Over the next few days, the antibiotics began clearing the infection, and as they did, her mental clarity returned. At one point she asked, “What was it you said happened to me?” I told her, and she shook her head because it conflicted with the fading memories in her own mind.

I pulled out my phone and said, “Mom, I want to play you something. This is you explaining what happened.” We listened to the earlier recording. When it was over, I asked, “Which version makes more sense to you—what you said then, or what I am telling you now?”

When she realized her version of reality did not make sense, and that mine did, she became scared. And understandably so. It would be frightening for anyone to realize that their own brain had deceived them about reality.

She cried. I comforted her and told her we would work through it together.

That was the beginning of the whirlwind effort by my wife and me to find a place where she could be better cared for.

But first, in the next chapter, we’ll talk about medical issues in older age.

Advice

• If an older loved one is suddenly confused or delirious, consider a urinary tract infection and get it checked immediately.

• If something feels “off,” don’t brush it off too quickly.

• Make sure you have a way to access the home in an emergency.

• Know how to request a welfare check and don’t feel guilty for using that option when needed.

• If an older loved one lives alone, prolonged silence can be a warning sign.

• Keep a list of neighbors, friends, or nearby contacts who know the person’s routines.

When someone is delirious, don’t waste energy arguing with them. Focus on getting them treated and safe. Once they are clear-minded again, gently explain what happened so they understand the seriousness of it.

Links to each chapter:

• Introduction - Why I Wrote This

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

  ---

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Let’s get the ugly part out of the way first.

Mom was a hoarder. As is likely true for most people in that situation, holding on to things started small and then snowballed. I cannot tell you exactly when it started for her. I only know that over the years, whenever I visited her house, I began to notice things piling up in certain places—things that needed to be put away, organized, read, recycled, or thrown away. Over time, the piles grew.

It wasn’t just the hoarding that became a problem, it was the general uncleanliness too. Stains were left untreated. Dishes piled up in the sink. Basic housekeeping seemed almost nonexistent.

There was a point about four years ago when things became unhealthy and unsanitary. I will spare you the details, but it was atrocious. My brother and his wife flew in, and they, along with my wife and me, sat down with Mom to express our concern. We were logical and emotional in our plea to her to be willing to change. As I later learned, interventions rarely work. And neither did ours. She made promises, but nothing came of them. I consulted friends and professionals, and unfortunately there was not much we could do unless she was willing to accept help.

When we offered to come in and help clean, she generally refused. One reason was that when we helped early on, we moved too quickly for her to supervise every item being sorted and discarded. It wasn’t intentional; we were all working full-time jobs and could only come in on weekends, so we attacked the problem with efficiency and purpose. For Mom, it was overwhelming.

Sometimes other family members had a little more success getting her to allow them in. But despite their best efforts, they were mostly rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Her stubbornness and talkativeness would eventually wear them down.

In the summer of 2023, Mom fell and had to go to the hospital with a urinary tract infection, and then on to rehab. During that time, my family and I were out of the country. Her neighbors confided in me that the home had gotten worse and that something needed to be done.

While out of the country, I coordinated with Letty and Lee Inabinet from Visiting Angels in San Antonio to go into her home and at least get the kitchen and bedroom back into livable shape. But I knew we needed Mom’s permission first, so they went and met with her at rehab. She expressed concern about other people going through her things. I had worked with Letty while I was in the Air Force, and I trusted both her and Lee completely. I told Mom that. Letty was wonderful with her, assuring her that they would only clean and organize. Mom agreed. The Visiting Angels team deep-cleaned the main rooms, then returned to rehab to show her photos and reassure her. I remain deeply grateful to the Letty and Lee. If you are in the San Antonio area and need help of that kind, they are the kind of people you want.

Unfortunately, once Mom returned home, she reverted to old habits.

Eventually, after I retired from the military, I realized the only thing I could do was come alongside her and help on a weekly basis, in accordance with her wishes. Thankfully, my military pension gave me the flexibility to scale back and work part-time in my new job at UT San Antonio. I am grateful for the flexibility the folks at UT San Antonio gave me while I was helping my mom. I have no idea how I, or anyone working full-time, could handle something like this.

So from January through May of 2024, just about every week, my wife and I drove to Austin one day a week to go through things in her house with her.

My wife and I are very Type A people. I retired as a Colonel, and my wife has managed her job as a realtor while also managing our family and home through my many military absences over the years. I say all that not to brag, but to say that if there are two people in the world who know how to organize things and get things done, it’s us.

And yet the process of going through Mom’s house almost broke me. Not because we did not know what to do, but because nearly every decision required her approval.

We started in the kitchen. There was stuff everywhere. I did not know where to begin. I opened one drawer, then another, then another. I decided to gather like items, starting with spatulas. I found twelve of them, held them up to Mom, and asked which one she wanted to keep.

She analyzed every spatula. After fifteen minutes, we had negotiated her down to keeping three. But she did not want anything leaving the house, so we had to make two separate piles: one for things that might be given away and one for things that might be thrown away. After spatulas came whisks. After whisks came wooden spoons. And on, and on.

After a few weeks of trips, we finally got the kitchen somewhat organized and cleaned. If organizing was difficult, cleaning was even worse. There were cockroach droppings on every shelf, on dishes, and in cups. We went through gallons of dish soap and cleanser. The pantry contained food that was more than fifteen years old, yet even throwing that away required negotiation.

After the kitchen, we moved to the dining room, which we needed as a staging area for things we had sorted but that she still had not decided whether to donate, recycle, or trash. As we left each week, we gave her assignments, like going through one stack of sorted items and deciding what to throw away. Rarely did she complete them.

From the dining room we moved to her bedroom. By the time we finished going through her clothes, we had filled more than ten moving boxes with dresses, many still in original packaging from an online store.

We had small victories along the way: decluttering a cabinet, seeing the floor in places, and clearing a path wider than a foot. Some things became a game: counting the number of each like item we found to see which there were more of (scissors actually outnumbered spatulas), and seeing what the oldest item in the pantry might be (I found a bottle of alcohol at the back of the top shelf that was from the 1980s).

When Mom was not looking, my wife and I would quietly take things outside and put them into trash bags that we brought back to our house. Why back to our house? Because she would check her outdoor trash can after we left to see what we had thrown away. Call me dishonest if you want, but it was for her good. It was stuff any other person would have called trash.

There were even times when she remembered something that had been in the house but that we had thrown away behind her back weeks prior. She would ask us about it, and depending on what we thought her response would be—or our own frustration level—we would feign ignorance or tell her we had thrown it away. We could not do that too often, or she would lose trust in us. Again, call me dishonest if you want, but she simply was not keeping up with life in a way that ensured her health and safety.

It is difficult to do the right thing for someone when they do not see it as right. It is even harder when they get upset with you. In many ways, over the past few years, the parent-child relationship flipped. I found myself caring for her in ways she once did for me.

This kind of thing is not in the manual of life. Grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, retire. That is the arc of life as people tend to imagine it. No one really tells you about the stretch where you may need to care for your parents, many times while also continuing to shepherd your own children through life. This is what they call the “sandwich generation.”

Please do not misunderstand me. I am not bitter. I have no regrets about the time I spent with Mom. I am grateful she let us help her, and grateful we had the chance to do it. I am simply saying that the world does not usually explain that this too may be part of life, just as it does not tell you that marriage will involve struggles or that loved ones may have serious health issues. But that is reality.

I will also say that after raising me for nearly 20 years, I feel that the least I can do for my parents is help care for them for whatever period, and in whatever way, they need (and will allow). As difficult as it may be, it seems selfish to do otherwise.

By May, after four months of weekly trips, we finally reached her home office, where all of her important paperwork was “filed”—in stacks, spread around the room. Some piles had collapsed into others. There was a thick layer of dust on everything.

If there was one upside to Mom’s hoarding, it was that she had kept a lot of important paperwork along with the junk. I initially tried to go through each paper there in the house, deciding whether it was important and where it belonged. But she wanted to see each piece of paper too.

Eventually, I just threw the papers into boxes and bags and brought them back to our house. I spent evenings and weekends going through everything page by page. In the end, I was able to figure out where she had bank accounts, credit cards, and other essential information. The downside was that our living room began to smell like her house, which neither my wife nor I liked.

As tedious and lengthy as that process of going through paperwork was, if I had waited until after she passed to do it, it would have been a million times harder. Because I was finding things while she was still alive, I could ask her about them. I also had the luxury of time. If she had died before I had gotten through all the paperwork, I would have been trying to identify all of that information while simultaneously handling every other part of the estate.

Then, the same week we finished going through her office, I had to call the police to check on her.

Advice

To Hoarders

My guess is most hoarders fall into one of two categories: 1) you do not see yourself as a hoarder, or 2) you understand you have a hoarding problem but you don’t know how to break out of it.

If you find yourself in the first category—that is, you do not think you are a hoarder—but there are people in your life telling you that you are, then you likely are a hoarder. Quite often, others see our faults and shortcomings before we do.

Please understand: this is a problem. It is not normal to hold on to things to the degree that you do, especially if it is impacting your health and safety. If people closest to you are expressing concern, please listen.

If you know you are a hoarder but do not know how to get out of it, seek counseling. It is an addiction. Recovery takes time and effort. Maybe you keep things because you do not think your situation can improve, or maybe you do it because of finances, health, or the sheer size of the problem. There are people and organizations who can help, if you let them.

Additional advice:

• The goal is not perfection, it’s health, safety, and dignity.

• If the whole house feels overwhelming, start with one drawer, one counter, or one corner. Progress over perfection.

• Let someone you trust help you make decisions and help you go through things.

To family and friends of a hoarder

I am sorry. I wish I had an easy solution, but I don’t.

Even when my wife and I showed up every week, Mom was rarely willing to let much go, and even after she moved into assisted living she never truly changed the hoarder behavior. As we learned, interventions rarely work. Like most things in life, lasting change has to come from within.

Additional advice:

• Document what you are seeing. Photos and notes help you track changes over time.

• Don’t assume one difficult conversation will solve anything.

• Pace yourself. Protect your own sanity. Burnout is real.

• Get outside counsel when needed—social workers, counselors, doctors, or elder-care professionals.

• Focus first on health and safety hazards, not aesthetics.

• Accept that “better” may be more realistic than “fixed.”

Links to each chapter:

• Introduction - Why I Wrote This

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

  ---

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She had been to the ER many times in the previous couple of years, whether for falls, pain, or other complications. Each time, her problems were diagnosed, care was provided, and a path forward was prescribed. So when I showed up at the hospital on Saturday, November 30, I assumed this visit would be like the others.

Just a few hours later, when a nurse leaned over and asked me, “Does she have a DNR?” I realized this visit was different. (A DNR is a do-not-resuscitate order; it is a document that allows a person to choose not to receive life-saving measures in certain situations.)

Then, a few hours after that, when a nurse began doing chest compressions while straddled over Mom, I had to make the decision to cease further medical intervention.

Three times that night she experienced episodes, each more difficult than the last, that tested my wisdom, maturity, and love. I tell people that I feel like it took me 50 years to have the wisdom to make the decisions I made that night. I am not sure I would have been wise enough to ask the right questions or make the right decisions 30 years earlier.

My brother and I loved Mom, and I know she deeply loved us. She cared for us like only a mother could. I miss her, and I miss that she wanted to be around us. As moms go, you really could not ask for much more. My brother and I put together an obituary for her. I hope it did a decent job of conveying how much we loved her.

This is a series of reflections on the years leading up to her passing, the final hours of her life, and the things I learned while caring for an aging parent.

It started as a therapeutic exercise—simply writing down what her final hours entailed. Then it expanded into the last couple of months, then the last couple of years. Along the way, I realized there were lessons throughout that might help others who are going through, or will one day go through, similar situations. Eventually, it became an twelve-chapter document.

Why I wrote this

I’ve titled this series Reflections on Caring for an Aging Parent. Most of us have lost or will lose a parent sooner or later. Sometimes it’s unexpected and fast; other times it stretches for years and requires incredible sacrifice to care for a sick or elderly family member. Both are difficult in their own ways. In this vein, my purpose in these posts is to share lessons learned from our experience. The topics include hoarding (what to do if you are a hoarder, and what to do if you have a family member who is one), aging and medical care, important documents, finding a place to live, finances, dealing with someone else’s stuff, re-homing a pet, and a good deal of personal reflection on the passing of Mom.

I understand that there are differences in every life and death. You may have had a different experience or learned a different lesson. If you feel like sharing that in the comments section for others, feel free to do so. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I know how personal and private those experiences can feel.

Years ago, a pregnancy book was published with the title What to Expect When You’re Expecting. If I were to come up with another title for this series, it might be something similar, but from the other end of the bookshelf: What to Expect When You’re Expecting…to Die. I am not trying to be glib here. I have simply found that a little levity is necessary during hard times. In the way that the original What to Expect book was informative, I hope this writing is as well, because this writing isn’t just about caring for a loved one, it’s also about what we each need to be doing to prepare for our own death. And, let’s face it, each of us is going to die, so we should be prepared for it.

Thus, I think of the audience for these reflections through two overlapping lenses: time and relationship.

Time

• Some readers are not in this season yet. I hope you tuck a few of these lessons away for future use.

• Some readers are in the middle of this right now. I hope something here helps you navigate the road you’re walking.

• Some readers have already walked this road. My hope for you is shared solace. You are not the only one. It was hard. Thank you for what you did.

Audience

• Those dealing with aging parents.

• Hoarders, or family and friends of a hoarder.

• Those dealing with medical, housing, or financial challenges related to aging.

• Those serving as caregiver, power of attorney, or executor.

• Those facing end-of-life decisions for a loved one.

• Those wanting to prepare now for the practical realities of aging, decline, and death.

I hope you find some useful nuggets in here, whether for now or later. I also hope the narrative keeps you engaged. If it doesn’t, feel free to skip ahead to the “Advice” section in each chapter.

Credit for much of this content, either directly or indirectly, also goes to friends and family who have volunteered in hospice and cared for aging relatives. Throughout the many decisions we had to make, people were there to serve as sounding boards and offer advice. We are grateful for their wisdom.

Caveats

Let me make a few caveats up front.

First, I am not an estate planner, certified financial planner, attorney, doctor, nurse, or therapist, so the lessons I offer here come simply from experience in my situation with my Mom. I strongly recommend meeting with appropriate professionals to discuss your own situation.

Second, I am going to air some dirty laundry about Mom. I do this not to disparage her; my brother and I loved Mom deeply. I do this to connect with those of you facing similar circumstances. We are all adults here. We can acknowledge that people have faults and still have virtues. We can be lovable at times and a pain in the rear at times.

If you are in any doubt about how I felt about Mom, know this: she had shortcomings, but our family loved her deeply. That is how love works. People are not always easy to be with (my wife tells me this). Love means working through difficulty. We would not have done the things we did to help her if we had not loved her.

Third, you may read some of this and think that we should have done certain things differently. You are probably right. You may have had experience or insight we did not have. We were simply trying to make the best decisions we could, one step at a time. We sought counsel from friends, family, and professionals, and then we moved forward.

Below is what we’ll be covering over the next few months. I’ll post one new chapter each week. Chapter 1 is available now; to read it, click the link below.

• Chapter 1 - The Buildup

• Chapter 2 - The Tipping Point

• Chapter 3 - Aging and Medical Care

• Chapter 4 - Important Documents

• Chapter 5 - Finding a Place to Live

• Chapter 6 - Managing Finances

• Chapter 7 - Managing Tasks and People

• Chapter 8 - The Purge

• Chapter 9 - Finding a Place for Puppy

• Chapter 10 - Life in Assisted Living

• Chapter 11 - Her Final Hours

• Chapter 12 - Afterwards

• Final Reflections

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Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a musical about her—Evita. In 1996, the musical was turned into a movie starring Madonna as Eva. The titular song of the musical was Don’t Cry for Me Argentina, which you can watch Madonna sing here:

The song speaks to the complexities of her rise from poverty to power, as she reassures the people that, through her transformation, she is still there to support them. It’s a plea to the Argentinian people to show understanding for all she’s been through, and ultimately, not mourn her death.

I’m reminded of the song as I watch what Javier Milei, the current Argentinian president, is attempting to do.

Eva Perón became one of the defining faces of Peronism by championing the working class and turning the state into an instrument of social protection and mass loyalty. She helped create the emotional and political style of Peronism itself—direct appeals to “the people,” strong symbolism, organized labor as a pillar of power, and a government expected to care for ordinary Argentines.

The current President, Javier Milei, by contrast, has taken a different path. Since taking office in December 2023, he has pushed a libertarian, pro-market agenda centered on cutting state spending, deregulation, labor reform, and weakening the old Peronist model of unions, subsidies, and state-led economic management.

His policies have led to a strong GDP rebound and reduced inflation. For now, he has achieved meaningful stabilization.

But he has plenty of critics, and some believe that Milei has abandoned the people. Public backlash over austerity measures, along with corruption allegations and stagnant incomes, has eroded his approval ratings.

And so, the lyrics of Don’t Cry for Me Argentina echo in my mind.

It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I’ve done

….

Don’t cry for me, Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise, don’t keep your distance

In Eva Perón’s pleas to the Argentinian people, I can’t help but wonder if, reimagined, the lyrics could serve as a plea from Milei—that he has not forgotten the people and that his austerity measures are in their long-term best interest, if they’d only trust him and have patience.

No doubt there are many who see Milei’s approach as “mad”—it’s hard not to when you see images like this:

But keep in mind that the inflation rate in Argentina was nearly 300% in 2024, so perhaps a mad approach was required. Even now, at a more “normal” rate, inflation in Argentina sits around 32%. And you thought our U.S. inflation rate was bad at 3.3%.

Time will tell if Milei’s approach works—whether he “kept his promise”—and whether the people have the patience to see it through or instead “keep their distance.”

If not, there’s always the potential for a second, or third, chance.

In a bit of a political twist, Eva’s husband, Juan Peron, was overthrown as President of Argentina in a coup in 1955. Then, almost 20 years later, in 1973, he was elected president again. By that time, he had remarried, and his new wife, Isabel, became vice president alongside him1. When Juan Peron died in 1973, Isabel became president but was later overthrown in another military coup in 1976.

So, when it comes to Latin American politics, the people can be fickle, cycles happen, and anything’s possible.

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Twelve years ago, my family and I experienced one of the most unique stage shows that we had ever seen, or that we’ve seen since. It was called The Intergalactic Nemesis.

In The Intergalactic Nemesis, comic book images are shown on the screen while actors on stage speak the lines you’d normally read in the comic panels; meanwhile, sound effects are played by someone else on stage. Think of a 1930s radio drama, along with still images, played out in front of you.

It is quite an engaging storytelling experience.

Originally performed and recorded as a radio drama in 1996 in an Austin coffeehouse, the show eventually grew to broadcast quality, and they ended up going on the road as a live stage play. They were even on Conan O’Brien’s show and NPR’s All Things Considered. Kansas State even put together a study guide for the show, providing background on the creator and the genre. We saw the show in 2014—almost 20 years later—as they toured the country. We loved the show.

To me, this is another story of something that started small, then grew after continued work and time, into something people might think happened overnight. Sadly, though the show is no longer being performed in person, you can watch episodes here. And, you can get their graphic novels (comic books) here.

But wait, there’s more!

In a surprise twist, while researching the creator, Jason Neulander, I found out that he’s put together a new show, this one based on Treasure Island, called Jane Hawkins and the Pirate’s Gold! It looks like they’ll be touring this fall and it’s a family-friendly show.

The Austin Chronicle describes it as, “The live version of Treasure Island Reimagined will do something very similar [to The Intergalactic Nemesis], bringing to…life the exploits of young Jane Hawkins, a 12-year-old working in a sleepy seaside inn on the coast of Scotland in 1754. Her world is turned upside down when a mysterious stranger washes up at the inn, sending her on a journey of peril and plunder.”

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Then I wondered how hard it would be to make my own site that would do the same thing as Series Graph.

What I found was that it was both easier and harder than I thought it would be. Here’s what my site, Episode Graph, looks like:

If you just want to go to my site and don’t care at all how I made it, go here and skip the rest of this post.

But, I’ll tell you up front that there are some issues with my site, so don’t plan to use it as a substitute for Series Graph. Here are the limitations of my site:

• My site has trouble getting information for certain TV episodes, so some ratings will be missing. This could be rectified if I paid money for a proper API feed (more on that later).

• The “dark mode” colors aren’t right, making that mode difficult to read. To change it to “light mode,” click on the asterisk/moon icon to the right of the search bar.

• My site may stop working. I actually wrote this post weeks ago, but I had used up all my “credit” from my free Netlify account (read more about how I use Netlify here) and had to wait until a new billing cycle kicked off for the site to become active again. My free account came with 300 credits, the next level up costs $9 per month and gives you 1,000 credits per month. I want to try to keep all of this at the free level, so I didn’t upgrade. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know how many credits I was eating up each time I uploaded a change to my site, though I do know that it took quite a few iterations to get the site I have now. Either way, when I exceed my free credits, all sites I’ve created on Netlify (to include my Olympics spinner and geography game) stop working until the next month, as you can see below.

How I made my site

I went to Claude’s Codex and typed in this prompt:

ok, i want you to make an html site that allows me to look up tv series or movies and see the imdb ratings of each episode (or movie) in graphic form similar to the Series Graph app/website. can you do that?

Codex said it could do this, but that I’d need to get access to an API and would need to upload files to Github.

I vaguely knew what these two things were, so after some back-and-forth with Codex, I was given background and instructions.

APIs

API stands for Application Programming Interface. In plain English, it is a set of rules that says: 1) what you can ask a system to do, 2) how to ask it, and 3) what kind of answer you will get back.

From Claude:

Websites use APIs by sending requests to external services and receiving data back in a structured format (usually JSON), which they then display to users.

For example, when a website shows weather, maps, or login options, it sends a request like “get current weather for this location” to another service’s API, receives the data, and uses it to update the page in real time.

Think of an API as a request for data from another organization that stores that data. For instance, if you wanted the latest stock prices, you’d sign up for an API to get stock prices from an organization that track them, like Bloomberg. If you wanted hotel pricing and availability data, you might sign up for an API from Expedia. Or, if you wanted to get weather data, you might sign up for an API from Weather.com.

You get the idea—basically anyone out there who has information on the web will likely offer you the ability to sign up for an API to get their data. Some agencies offer their data for free, like the government, and others require you to pay for the data—IMDB falls into this latter category, charging $150,000 per year. Obviously movie data is a big business!

I did not have an extra $150K lying around, so I asked Codex what other options were available, and we settled on The Open Movie Database (OMDb) API, which was free for a limited number of queries.

Unfortunately, I quickly used up my allotted queries in building my site and playing with it, so for now I pay $1 per month to get unlimited queries but limited data (as I later learned).

GitHub

GitHub is a website and platform for storing, managing and collaborating on code. Codex originally wanted me to have the code stored on my computer, which would mean every time someone accessed my Episode Graph website it would go to my computer to run the code. My previous two projects, Your Vibe Code Guide to the Olympics and Your Vibe Code Guide to World Geography, both had static data, so no outside information was required. This project, however, would require going and looking at data that would constantly be updated (new TV episodes and movies come out every day).

I am not a fan of running a website from my computer, so Codex told me that Github is a good alternative. And, that it is—especially since it offers a free option for my limited use. There are also paid options depending on your needs:

So, with that background, off I went. I had never used APIs or Github before, so I asked Codex to walk me through every step of signing up, and uploading code.

Though this all may sound complicated, it actually wasn’t. I did this all one night sitting on the couch watching another episode of The Lincoln Lawyer—which, as an aside, is a great series, both as TV and in book form (and so is the semi-related Bosch series)!

Within a couple of hours, I had a fully functioning site.

It started out with a basic line graph:

But I wanted the option for boxes, so I went back into Codex, told it what I wanted (along with an image from the Series Graph website), and within a couple of minutes it gave me new files to upload to Github.

Once that loaded, I wasn’t happy with the large size of the boxes, so I asked it to make a slider tool enabling the user to make the box sizes as large or small as they wanted:

Note that you can choose between boxes or a line graph—it kept both options. From there, I asked Codex to provide “average” lines on the line graph. It wrote new code to show linear average, moving average, or no trend line at all, then I uploaded the new code to Github.

You might also notice that when you type a movie or TV show title in the search bar that the left panel of the site shows a list of all possible movies or shows with that title that you can choose from. I did not choose this option, Codex put it there in the initial version.

The information at the top and the sortable list at the bottom of the page were all created on the first iteration of the site by Codex as well…I didn’t even have to ask for them either.

However, this is where things started to get hard.

I wanted a button to toggle between light mode and dark mode, so Codex built that functionality in via a moon/asterisk button to the right of the search bar.

But, dark mode is horrendous:

I played around with Codex for quite a while trying to fix this issue, but eventually gave up because it was taking too long.

Also, it was around this time that I realized that some episode ratings were missing and I couldn’t figure out why.

I queried numerous other TV series in my new app and inevitably certain episode ratings would be missing from those also. For the next few nights, I worked for hours with Codex to try and diagnose and fix the problem. Ultimately, what I narrowed it down to (I think) is that the $1/month OMDb API does not give me all TV and movie information; if I want all TV and movie information, I’d have to pay $150K per year to IMDB for their API.

So, there my imperfect site sits.

I think what strikes me as most interesting about these projects is how easy they are to code with no coding experience. Some of these websites or apps, like Series Graph, are popular because of how they’ve coded their site to display information or be interactive. If I, as a novice, can take a screenshot of cleverly done website and just ask Codex to make it for me, then where does the competitive advantage lie? Are site designs considered Intellectual Property? If all the information on the internet is available for vacuuming up and repackaging, where’s the limit?

As a coda to this post, while doing some research for a Global Hot Spots (areas of conflict in the world) course that I’m developing, I came across a site that looks very much like it was developed with the help of AI—World Factbook Archive—which is designed to be a replacement for the now-defunct CIA Factbook. The website, though glitchy at times, has suspiciously similar components to some of the coding projects I’ve had Claude do for me. I’ll admit, though, the website is well done with lots of great graphics and interactive tools. The interesting part of it is that all of the past CIA Factbook data was uploaded to GitHub, and since it’s static and no longer being updated, anyone could create a similar website without using an API.

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I’d like to tell you about Aspen—he was the best dog you could ever ask for. He was smart, playful, loving, ornery, and we miss him. We got him in late 2009, when he was still a pup, and had to put him down in 2023—it was one of the hardest things we’ve had to do as a family and was especially hard on my wife.

We named him Aspen because he was white, like the bark on Aspen trees, and because we enjoy Colorado, which has a town named Aspen. He was a Goldendoodle, which was a fairly newish breed in the mid-2000s, but now you see them everywhere. I wanted a German Shepherd, but I was overruled by other family members. I’m glad they won out.

As the dog of a military family, Aspen saw so much transition and change that anytime we packed our bags, even for a weekend trip, he’d get nervous and lay next to the piled up bags. He’d lay completely still and flat—except for his eyes, which would dart left and right to track the movements of the family as they walked back and forth. When we’d open the door to walk out of the house with our bags, he’d be the first out the door, as if to say, “I’m going too!”

Six months after we got him, we took a road trip from Florida to Alaska, driving across the southern U.S., then up the West Coast into Canada. He traveled with us in our minivan, his area taking up as much space as our two sons combined.

Along the way, we stopped at the Grand Canyon to stretch our legs, see the view, and take Aspen for a walk. I kid you not, a bunch of Japanese tourists with cameras saw this giant white puffball on a leash and immediately started snapping photos. Aspen responded with a toothy, open-mouthed, tongue-sticking-out smile and soaked in all the attention. He could be a bit of a showboat at times. In fact, once, he was even on the front page of the newspaper for a Fourth of July parade. Aspen made the newspaper picture; my son, however, was cropped out.

After the Grand Canyon, he got to see Yosemite. Then, in Canada, we got on a ferry where he had to stay below deck in the car in his crate. For the next couple of days, whenever we hit a port—whether noon or midnight or anytime in between—we’d let him out to go potty, then usher him back to his crate. Then we all got back into the car to drive through the Yukon and into Alaska.

In Alaska, he loved the snow in the winter and the grass fields in the summer. His best friend was our neighbor’s dog, Nalia, a large Alaskan Malamute. The two of them loved to wrestle, and it wasn’t uncommon for it to end with blood stains after one or both of them had played a little too rough and bitten the other around the nape of the neck a little too hard. They were never angry at one another; it was always playful.

He was an incredibly smart dog. Early on, he learned to tap a bell hanging from the handle on our back door to signify that he needed to go outside to go to the bathroom. Because his urine would kill the grass, I installed pebbles in an area on the side of the house—his “doggy litter” area, if you will. At first, it worked great.

Then he became too smart for his own good. He trained us to open the back door anytime we heard the bell ring, even if it was just because he wanted to wander around the backyard to smell things. And since he didn’t like the feeling of the gravel on his paws, he’d walk toward that area of the yard when we let him out; then, as soon as we closed the door, he’d sprint away to the grassy area to go to the bathroom.

To say he was the best dog is not to say he was a perfect dog.

Once, in Alaska, we had to take him in for emergency surgery after realizing that a wool sock he had eaten had gotten stuck in his intestines. I’m not sure I could’ve choked down (pun intended) the $1,000+ vet bill had I not loved that dog. And that’s nothing to say of how I later had to manually pull the other sock out of the exiting hole of his digestive system (I’ll spare you the details on that one). The things you do for the ones you love.

He was a bit of a Houdini at times. Though he never ran away, sometimes he would escape from our backyard, only for us to find out he’d gone when he pawed at our front door from outside. We’d open the door, and he’d be like, “Hi folks, I’m back.” and would trot back inside. To which we’d respond, “We didn’t even know you were gone!” I’m reminded of Billy in The Family Circus comic strip:

I imagined that, like Billy, Aspen had wandered the neighborhood, checked out some things, then decided he was ready to come home, so he did.

From the beginning, we had a rule that he was not allowed on our couch.

But something changed along the way, and it just started happening. He was not a lap dog. With a dog his size, it was like an elephant coming to sit on the couch—the process of getting on was cumbersome, followed by circling before sitting and then constant stretching and maneuvering to claim more couch real estate. If my wife or I ever got up from the couch to grab something from the kitchen, we’d return to find our place filled with whatever part of his body was not taking up the other 90% of the couch.

Couches, beanbags, beds… he had an elevated sense of self. The floor simply wasn’t good enough for this dog.

Sometimes he had a rough night partying and didn’t quite make it fully into bed. We can all relate.

And sometimes he had a rough day at the office:

I thought this picture of him waiting for Santa was nice too; he heard there were openings on the sleigh team and wanted to interview.

He loved going on walks, but he was terrible at going on runs. He wanted to smell every single blade of grass, which doesn’t really make running feasible.

Walks also meant us humans carrying poop bags and picking up his poop. And poop he did. Nope, he couldn’t go in our backyard; instead, he had to wait until we were 100 yards from home and make us humans carry his filled poop bags back for him like royal servants. I’m still not sure who trained whom. We carried innumerable bags of poop home from walks around the neighborhood over the years. It was embarrassing for us humans, and I think he was proud of that.

He had a particular gait that made him look like he was just kind of loping or bebopping along. Thus became one of his nicknames—Bebop.

Eventually, his list of nicknames grew so long that we only called him Aspen when he was in trouble or we needed him for something. His nicknames included:

• Bebop – which, of course, led to other nicknames, like:

• Beeeeeeeebops Las Vegas - said like “Vivaaaaaa Las Vegas!”.

• Bipity Bops – Inspired by the song from the Cinderella cartoon with the lyrics “Bipity Bopity Boo”.

• Bibity – A shortening of the above.

• Polywoggers – Along with his gait, his tail had its own personality, wagging in numerous directions… thus poly, meaning “many.” We’d usually call him this after his tail knocked something over, as in, “Polywoggers, watch your tail!”

• Poop eater – Self-explanatory.

• Dogger breath – Also self-explanatory and usually preceded by “poop eater.”

• Monkey dog - When he did something goofy. As in, “You monkey dog, stop rolling in the dirt! We just gave you bath.”

• Squirrel chaser – Squirrels are, well, squirrely. And though he liked to chase them, they were simply too fast to catch. But the most annoying part to him was when they’d cackle at him once they got up in the tree. “Squirrel chaser,” I’d say, “you’ll never win, they can climb trees.”

• Deer harasser – We have a lot of deer in our neighborhood. And while we were busy picking up his poop on walks, this giant white fluffy 70 pound dog would attempt to slowly sneak up on the deer. I have no idea what he thought he’d do when he got them, but then again, I don’t think he ever really intended to catch them. He would only half-heartedly jump at them when he got close. Then, as they’d bound away from the “great white killer,” he’d turn back to us and smirk, then continue bebopping along on his walk.

For everyone in our family, though, his most enduring trait was that of stress sponge. He was so docile that you could just lay next to him on the floor, petting his soft fur, letting him soak up the stress of the day. There were many days that I felt God put him into our lives to do just that. He would lay there as long as we would. I miss the feel of his fur.

He was also the neighborhood’s friendliest dog. Though he’d bark at other dogs in passing, it was not aggressive. It was as if he was saying, “Hey, what’s up, dude!” If they didn’t respond back with a bark or friendly wag of the tail, he’d pause and look at me as if asking, “What’s wrong with that guy?”

When we were in Alaska, we had a giant field behind our home. We’d go out to the field and throw a ball for him to fetch. He’d run to get it a couple of times, but after that, we’d end up having to go get the ball we threw.

When he was younger, he was very fast. In that same Alaskan field, the boys and I would play a game with him where we’d have him sit in place, then we’d start walking away, and, after we’d gotten a certain distance from him, we’d start running. As soon as we started running, he’d come chasing after us.

He’d always catch me—and catching usually meant swiping at my legs, causing me to trip and land face-first on the ground. I’d laugh and he’d come over and lick my face. He loved the thrill of the chase and the taste of victory.

As he grew older, he became slower, weaker, and increasingly in pain. There was less walking and more lying around. What he really loved was just sitting outside, watching passersby like an old man.

Alas, his compounding health issues just became too much, and we had to put him down. It was one of the toughest days for our family. There are harder things to bear in life, no doubt, but the loss of a pet is difficult—especially when that pet was Aspen.

To make matters worse, one of my sons and I were out of town and had to watch virtually as he passed. But it was harder on my wife, who held him as he took his last breath and felt his heart beat for the last time.

Undoubtedly, he was the best dog a family could’ve asked for.

So, Aspen, you big fluff ball, in your honor, we raise a bag of poop to you. We miss you, Bebop, you poop-eating dogger-breath polywogger monkey dog. Know that the squirrels still cackle, the deer continue to invade, and you’ll forever have a place in our hearts.

Aspen, the best dog a family could ask for.

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But this post isn’t about land invasions or airborne assaults on foreign soil.

Instead, since I’ve been seeing a growing number of stories about the Strait of Hormuz, global shipping chokepoints, and the Taiwan Strait, I thought I’d tie them all together. I hope you find this helpful.

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For years, it was easy to assume that globalization, digital networks, and advanced technology had reduced the importance of physical geography. But recent events are showing the opposite. Even in an era of AI-enabled warfare and precision strikes, narrow waterways and physical supply routes still determine outcomes. Roughly 20% of the world’s oil supply flows through the Strait of Hormuz, and even limited disruption there has already caused sharp spikes in energy prices.

History shows the danger of trying to solve these disruptions militarily—misjudging second- and third-order effects has led to costly failures in the past.

The Gallipoli Lesson

The Gallipoli campaign during World War I is a case in point, as Niall Ferguson points out in this great piece. The Allied powers attempted to seize control of the Dardanelles Strait to reopen a vital supply route and gain a strategic advantage. What followed was a costly failure—poor planning, underestimated resistance, difficult terrain, and logistical breakdowns led to a prolonged stalemate and eventual withdrawal.

The campaign didn’t just fail militarily; it produced unintended economic and political consequences as well, and those consequences were both immediate and far-reaching. Economically, the failure to reopen the Dardanelles meant that grain shipments from Russia remained blocked, contributing to price volatility and fears of food shortages in Europe. Britain had to intervene heavily in markets—subsidizing shipping, restricting exports, and even attempting to influence commodity prices—measures that distorted normal economic activity and reflected how quickly wartime pressures can override market systems.

Politically, the fallout was just as significant. The failed campaign weakened the British government, forcing Prime Minister H. H. Asquith to form a coalition government and contributing to a loss of confidence in leadership. Winston Churchill, who had championed the operation, was removed from his post and saw his reputation severely damaged (though it was salvaged in WWII). Beyond Britain, the campaign failed to stabilize Russia, which remained economically strained and politically fragile. These were conditions that ultimately contributed to the Russian Revolution. In short, what began as a strategic effort to solve a military and economic problem ended up weakening alliances, destabilizing governments, and compounding the very risks it was meant to resolve.

Chokepoints, it turns out, are complex multi-armed systems that can quickly tighten into a chokehold. Intervening under pressure rarely unfolds as planned, and often produces outcomes far different from what decision-makers expect.

Global shipping chokepoints

Global trade—worth more than $11.5 trillion annually by sea—depends on a handful of maritime chokepoints. About 80% of global trade by volume and 55% by value moves across oceans, concentrating risk in narrow corridors like Hormuz, Suez, and key Asian straits.

Not all chokepoints carry equal risk. As seen in the image below, Closing Hormuz blocks energy flows with few alternatives, but affects about 6% of global maritime trade. By contrast, disruptions in the Taiwan Strait (~13%), the Suez Canal (~16%), or South China Sea (~24%) would impact a far larger share of global commerce. The most severe scenario, blocking Southeast Asian routes, could affect up to 26% of global trade, forcing massive detours and cascading delays.

Even when rerouting is possible, it comes at a cost: longer routes, higher insurance, and slower delivery times that ripple through supply chains and consumer prices.

The impact of just-in-time logistics

Even limited disruption, such as a quarantine, would force ships to reroute, sometimes adding up to 1,000 miles to journeys, which would raise costs, delay deliveries, and cut off access to key ports. This is especially problematic in a just-in-time (JIT) logistics system, where companies keep minimal inventory on hand and rely on precisely timed deliveries to keep production moving. Designed for efficiency and cost reduction, JIT leaves little room for delay. When shipments arrive late, production lines can halt, downstream deliveries are disrupted, and shortages ripple outward. What begins as a routing adjustment at sea can quickly translate into factory slowdowns, empty shelves, and rising prices. In a more severe scenario, these compounding delays can cause entire supply chains to seize up across industries ranging from electronics to energy, exposing how efficiency-driven systems often sacrifice resilience in the face of disruption.

Rare earths and microchips

Control over rare earths is becoming just as strategically important as control over energy and trade routes. These minerals, essential for everything from EV motors and wind turbines to advanced electronics and military systems, are heavily concentrated in one place: China, which dominates global production and processing. That concentration is now driving a coordinated push to diversify supply chains. Japan and France, for example, recently agreed to deepen cooperation on rare earth sourcing and refining, including a new facility expected to supply a significant share of Japan’s future demand for key materials like dysprosium and terbium. These efforts reflect a broader shift, as countries invest in alternative suppliers, recycling, and joint ventures to reduce reliance on China, which has already demonstrated its willingness to restrict exports for strategic or political leverage. The result is a growing recognition that rare earths are not just industrial inputs, but are also geopolitical tools that are increasingly central to economic security and global power competition.

The Taiwan Strait

The Taiwan Strait has emerged as economically consequential chokepoint. Approximately $2.45 trillion in goods—more than 20% of global maritime trade—passes through it each year. It is also the center of the global semiconductor industry, with Taiwan producing over 90% of the world’s most advanced chips, including 99% of those used for cutting-edge AI systems.

The broader trade exposure is enormous. Taiwan’s ports handle hundreds of billions in goods, while China alone moves roughly $1.3–$1.4 trillion in trade through the strait. U.S. allies are heavily dependent as well: about 32% of Japan’s imports and 30% of South Korea’s imports transit the strait, much of it energy and high-tech components.

China is increasing pressure on Taiwan through military activity, economic leverage, and “gray zone” tactics that fall short of full invasion. These include potential blockades or restrictions on shipping that could disrupt trade without triggering immediate war.

One advantage of the Taiwan Strait is that alternative routes are available, unlike the Strait of Hormuz. This Economist article does a great job of modeling and mapping potential impacts.

However, if conflict and blockade expanded throughout the South China Sea, the consequences would be far worse.

At the same time, uncertainty in U.S. policy and competing global commitments are creating openings for China. Subtle changes in diplomacy or priorities could weaken deterrence, raising the risk of miscalculation. The situation is further complicated by the fact that major powers cannot fully concentrate on multiple theaters at once, increasing the chance that one crisis creates opportunities in another.

In conclusion

The global economy is highly efficient, but also highly concentrated and fragile. A small number of chokepoints carry a disproportionate share of trade, energy, and critical inputs. Disruptions in any one location can cascade quickly across regions, industries, and financial systems.

Countries are responding by stockpiling resources, diversifying supply chains, and investing in domestic production, but these adjustments take time and raise costs. In the near term, the system remains exposed. The question is not whether chokepoints matter, but which one becomes the next breaking point, and how far the shockwaves will spread when it does.

Though this isn’t an article about land invasions or airborne assaults on foreign soil, I do think it appropriate to end with this quote from Lyle Goldstein in his U.S. Naval Institute article comparing Gollipoli and Hormuz:

A closely related point, of course, is that U.S. forces fighting on Iran’s sovereign territory would once again confront the anger of a people defending their homeland. It is no coincidence that the father of modern Turkey, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, arose out of the single extraordinary battle at Gallipoli. After the bitter lessons learned from wars in Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, U.S. strategists should be wary of brazen challenges on foreign soil.

The lesson is simple: chokepoints are inevitable, but chokeholds are not. They emerge when efficiency replaces resilience and when alternatives are ignored. Like in wrestling, the key is not to overpower the hold, but to avoid being caught in it in the first place.

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I recently noticed I had a few items, both personal and professional, that were stagnating on the “back burner” of my to-do list for way too long. When it came down to it, these were things I needed to do, but they were neither fun nor easy, and thus I was avoiding them. Basically, I was procrastinating. I’m sure you can relate.

I read about a time-management system called “Getting Things Done” by David Allen. I won’t go into detail about his system, because there’s a lot packed in there, but one piece of advice stood out to me: when you’re overwhelmed by a project and everything it requires, identify the very next step you need to take, and then take it. He isn’t suggesting that you think only in the short term or avoid building a comprehensive plan for your project. Rather, his advice is about focusing on the immediate future: what is the very next step you must take to move toward the overall end state?

This sounds really simple and obvious, but when it comes to those stagnating “to-do” items, it can be liberating because it takes your mind off the overwhelming scope of the project and instead has you focus on just the next step. You identify the next step and take it. Then repeat.

One Step…

Of course, this idea isn’t new. You’ve likely heard the saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” and the corresponding response, “One bite at a time.” The elephant symbolizes some huge, overwhelming thing you must accomplish. The idea, then, is that you don’t focus on the whole elephant; you focus on the next bite.

I hate to mix food metaphors, but there’s another great saying (possibly by Mark Twain, but that’s unconfirmed) that goes, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” The point is, if you do the gnarliest thing on your list first, then you’ve gotten it out of the way and can go through the day knowing that the other things on your list should be easier to swallow.

The productivity translation of these two metaphors is: identify the next bite you have to take and take it. Get the hard part out of the way and make progress.Those of you who have been through challenging periods in life—where the sheer amount of time you were going to be challenged seemed overwhelming—can relate to these metaphors. Maybe it was military training, or a difficult class, or even a loved one struggling with health issues. You made it through those times by taking it one step at a time. You didn’t make it through by thinking about the enormity of your ordeal. You made it through by thinking about that day, the next meal, the next hour. You made it through by taking the next step, over and over again.

The same holds true for fitness. You don’t focus on losing 80 pounds or running 26 miles—those are overwhelming numbers. You focus on showing up each day. You focus on the next lap, the next rep, the next pound lost. They add up until one day you find yourself halfway to your goal, then halfway the remaining distance, then halfway again, and then eventually all the way there. But this requires taking the next step, over and over again.

The same holds true for education. Whether it’s a bachelor’s, master’s, or even a doctorate degree, when you think about the number of classes you have to take, the number of papers you have to write, or the length of time it’s going to take, it’s overwhelming. Instead, you focus on the next semester, the next class, the next assignment, the next 2,000 words. You make it through by taking the next step over and over again.

The same holds true for managing emotional or health struggles. The enormity of difficulties in life can be overwhelming, and your present condition versus the future better condition can seem a thousand miles apart. But you get there by taking one step after another. Whether it’s overcoming depression, or stress, or an addiction, it’s about making it through one day, then one week, then a month. Then it adds up.

The same holds true for those who accomplish huge feats like making it to the top of Mount Everest—you take one step after another—be it buying gear, training, or literally taking steps up the mountain. Over and over and over and over again.

…Then Another

Those of you who have been through challenging periods in life—where the sheer amount of time you were going to be challenged seemed overwhelming—can relate to these metaphors. Maybe it was military training, or a difficult class, or even a loved one struggling with health issues, you made it through those times by taking it one step at a time. You didn’t make it through by thinking about the enormity of your ordeal, you made it through by thinking about that day, the next meal, the next hour. You made it through by taking the next step, over and over again.

The same holds true for fitness. You don’t focus on losing 80 pounds or running 26 miles—those are overwhelming numbers. You focus on showing up each day. You focus on the next lap, the next rep, the next pound lost. They add up, until one day you find yourself halfway to your goal, then halfway the remaining distance, then halfway again, and then eventually all the way there. But this requires taking the next step, over and over again.

The same holds true for education. Whether it’s a bachelor’s, master’s, or even a doctorate degree, when you think about the number of classes you have to take, the number of papers you have to write, or the length of time it’s going to take, it’s overwhelming. Instead, you focus on the next semester, the next class, the next assignment, the next 2,000 words. You make it through by taking the next step over and over again.

The same holds true for managing emotional or health struggles. The enormity of difficulties in life can be overwhelming, and your present condition versus the future better condition can seem a thousand miles apart. But you get there by taking one step after another. Whether it’s overcoming depression, or stress, or an addiction, it’s about making it through one day, then one week, then a month. Then it adds up.

The same holds true for those who accomplish huge feats like making it to the top of Mount Everest—you take one step after another—be it buying gear, training, or literally taking steps up the mountain. Over and over and over and over again.

Decisiveness + Momentum

This really comes down to two things: taking a step (decisiveness) and continuing to do so (momentum). The more you do this, the more you get used to it, the more progress you make, and the more you get used to making progress.

This reminds me of the book by Bill Bryson titled “A Walk in the Woods,” in which he details his hike on the Appalachian Trail. He tells about the trials of hiking for days and miles on end, and how it all comes down to taking one step after another. Some hikers, as he tells it, make it to the end of the entire 2,168-mile Appalachian Trail journey only to find themselves turning around and continuing back the other way simply because it’s what they’re used to doing—taking the next step.

When making decisions and moving forward becomes normal, you find momentum of action. This isn’t to say that hard decisions become easy, but it means you’re not putting them off, and when you get used to making hard decisions, your ability and process for making hard decisions becomes more routine.

Illustrations from Physics

Physics provides us a couple of illustrations as well: Newton’s third law and friction.

Simply put, Newton’s third law states that an object that is at rest will stay at rest unless a force acts upon it, and an object that is in motion will not change its velocity unless a force acts upon it. Said even more simply, an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion.

As a quick physics refresher, static friction is friction between two objects that are not moving; kinetic friction is friction between two objects that are moving relative to each other. What’s interesting is that static friction exerts greater force than that of kinetic friction. As an example of this, think about a time when you had to push something heavy across the floor—getting the object moving took more effort than keeping it moving, once it overcame static friction.

OK, I know mechanical physics doesn’t play a direct role in accomplishing your to-do list, but there is a bit of psychological physics that comes into play. First, your stagnating to-do list items likely won’t accomplish themselves—you will have to exert some force, some action. Second, it may require a lot of force to get it going, but once you overcome the initial force resistance, less work should be required.

Application

So, what’s been stagnating on your to-do list? What are you dreading doing? Identify the next step, and take it. “Eat the frog,” as Mark Twain might say. Then repeat. Be decisive (make decisions and take a step forward), then keep your momentum and do it again.

As Tony Stark from the Avengers said, “I need a day when there aren’t twenty crises to deal with, but I don’t see that coming any time soon.” So, you might as well start dealing with the crises now.

Go forth and take action!

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Having gotten addicted to the ease of coding having AI code for me, I tried my hand at another project this week. All I can say is that I continue to be blown away by what AI is able to do—at least when it comes to HTML coding, which is used to display content in a web browser.

If you’ve been a reader of Curated Compositions for a while, you know that I have an affinity for teaching people about geography and the location of countries in the world. I’ve published a few guides out there to help people memorize the names and locations of certain countries in North America and Central America, South America, and Europe (in three parts). As part of those posts, I shared websites that quiz you on country locations. For this particular coding project, I had AI make my own quiz game.

Last week I used Anthropic’s Claude to do the programming (for me); this week I used OpenAI’s Codex.

Here’s a screenshot of the game:

You can play it here.

A few overall notes:

• The entire process occurred over the course of the week as I had free time. Added up, the back and forth with Codex only took me a total of ~30 minutes. And in that time, I had a fully-functioning, shareable map game that does the following:

  • Shows a map of world that you can pan and zoom

  • Asks you to identify the location of a specific country on the map

  • If you click on the correct country, it highlights that country in green, then says “Correct” and shows you that country’s flag, population and area

  • If you click on an incorrect country, it allows you to try again. If you are wrong a second time, it highlights the region of the world that country is in. If you are wrong a third time, it says “Incorrect” and then shows the location.

• According to Codex, the game contains 735 lines of code and required “meaningful amounts” of CSS and JavaScript logic. ChatGPT tells me that for a human to do that quantity and type of coding would take an experienced developer between 1 to 2 days (8 to 16 hours) and a beginner 1-2 weeks.

• I had to download the Codex app to my computer and used it to do the vibe coding.

• I pay for ChatGPT Pro, so I did not hit any usage limits. Codex tells me that if you had the free version, “You could still build it on a free tier, but you’d usually hit limits faster (message caps, smaller context window, slower/more fragmented iteration), so it would likely take more sessions and more manual stitching together.”

• Just like the last app I built used AI to build, I am having Netlify host this app for free

A few notes on the process I followed:

I didn’t immediately start with a world map, I started with the prompt, “Can you create a map of east asia that when I mouseover a country it tells me what country that is.” The first version was absolutely terrible:

So, I said as much:

After that, things went much better, but still required tweaks along the way.

Once Codex got the base map and mouseover correct, I proceeded with the following prompts:

• “Now, can you make it so that when I click on a country you open up a side panel that shows that country’s flag, area size, and population? If so, please proceed.”

• “Can you make an entire world map like this? If so, please proceed.”

• “Ok, using all of this as a starting ground, let’s make a game. I want you to provide me the name of a country, if I click on the correct country, i get a point, then you provide me another country and so on. If I fail to get the country correct, you tell me to try again. If I fail a second time, then you highlight the continent it is on and I guess again. If I get it wrong a third time, then you highlight the country yourself and then give me a new country to find. make sense?”

• “a few things are wrong with the game: 1) I don't want the country name revealed when i mouse over it, 2) the region highlight isn't working after the second fail, 3) once the user selects the correct country or they don't and the country is revealed, it immediately moves on to the next country. Instead, I want the country to remain highlighted and a button to be added that says "next country" once the user clicks on that button a new country name is revealed for them to find.”

• “This good; however, the region highlight still isn't working. Let's do it this way: let's categories all countries as being in the following regions, and then use these regions as the ones you highlight: (North America, Latin America & Caribbean, Europe, Africa, Middle East, Central Asia, South Asia, East Asia, Southeast Asia, Oceana)”

  • This problem took a few more “nope, this isn’t working, do better” prompts, but AI eventually fixed the problem.

• “Excellent, this is great! Next add: make a big green image that appears on the right in green that says “Correct!” when the user gets it correct”

• “Well done. FOr the next change: the underlying map shows the country names (in their native language). Is there a map out there that is exactly the same as the one you’re using that does not have the names of the countries?”

• “well done. next changes: 1) add red banner that says "Incorrect" if they are not successful in finding the country (just like the green button for when they got it correct. 2) once the country is revealed (whether correct or incorrect), also show on the right their flag, population, and area (in square miles)”

As you can see above, my grammar and instructions are very loose (incorrect capitalization, missing words, improper punctuation, vague wording)—thus the “vibe” part of vibe coding. But, I did try to be specific with problems I was seeing and changes I wanted.

Overall, I continue to be very impressed with what I can do considering I know very little about programming.

Lastly, I probably killed a tree or two by using filler words like “please,” “well done,” and “excellent.” Who knows how much computing power and energy that ate up and how many more data centers are needed to process my niceties. I try to be nice to AI so that in the future, when Terminator comes to my house, he remembers that I was kind to his ancestors.

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It’s that time of the biennial when we gather around the television and root for the very best athletes in the world as they compete for Olympic medals.

From the opening notes of The Bugler’s Dream (daaaah–DAAAH da-da da da da…), to the athlete backstories, to the fierce competition and international rivalries, the Olympics are generally a time of good vibes. And, whether it’s the sheer speed of downhill skiing or the artistry of figure skating, there’s usually something for everyone.

I realized this week that just about every Olympic sport can be narrowed down to five basic types of competition—at least in terms of how they’re scored:

• Speed

• Accuracy

• Strength

• Distance

• Artistry

Sometimes there’s overlap in categories, like figure skating. You might think this sport is solely scored on artistry, but the Technical Element score reflects precision (accuracy) and physical difficulty (strength).

I also realized that most Winter Olympic sports have parallels to other sporting events. Sometimes the parallels are more obvious, like snowboarding and skateboarding, and speed skating and running around a track. Other times, it’s less obvious, like bobsledding and kayaking.

Here’s a spreadsheet I put together to show how it all fits:

Full disclosure: I built this chart in about 15 minutes and took several creative liberties, so I’m sure there are things you might disagree with.

Still, using this handy guide, you can now decide which Olympic events to watch based on how you like sports to be scored—or based on other sports you already enjoy.

Have fun.

Oh—you’re one of those strange people who don’t like spreadsheets?

You’d prefer “an app for that” instead?

Okay, fine. Let’s make an app.

“Vibe coding” is all the rage these days. What is vibe coding? It’s AI-assisted coding—think coding for people who don’t really know how to code. You simply tell your favorite AI what you want to build, and it writes the code for you.

Recently, Anthropic’s AI, Claude, made headlines for how well it handles vibe coding, so, I signed up for yet another AI account and decided to give Claude a shot.

I uploaded the spreadsheet above, along with a copy-and-pasted list of TV event times from here and gave Claude this prompt:

“Using the attached documents, develop a spinner app that lets you pick an Olympic sport to watch based on what types of activities you like or how sports are scored, then display the day and time that sport will be on TV.”

The first app it built was in a .JSX file that I had no idea what to do with. Claude walked me through it all, but I still wasn’t sure how to upload it to the web, so I asked if it could build the app in a web-friendly code. A few minutes later, out came an HTML version.

Below, my friends, is a screenshot of the app:

To me, this is genuinely impressive. Not only did Claude do what I asked, but it also added icons, colors and animated falling snowflakes. Mind you, I have no coding skills, nor did this require any.

If you’d like to try the spinner yourself, you can do so HERE on Netlify.com—an app hosting site Claude also told me about. By the way, I did all of this with the free versions of Claude and Netlify.

Good vibes, for sure.

The goal here wasn’t to create an award-winning app, but to simply give vibe coding a try. If you’re a young person looking to make yourself more competitive in the marketplace, I’d strongly suggest giving vibe coding a try—employers will be wanting to know if you can do this type of thing. If a middle-aged guy like me can do it, I’m confident you can too.

Now, it’s time to go watch a team-based event scored by accuracy—otherwise known as hockey.

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In some future posts, I’ll share some of the lessons we learned from the past few years, and final days, of helping my mom. But for now, below is the obituary my brother and I put together to honor her. My mom was a special person whom I want you all to know.

Nancy Rendell of Austin, Texas, passed away on Sunday, November 30th at the age of 77. She was born on May 12th, 1948, in Austin, Texas, where she grew up and lived most of her life.

Nancy loved all things Austin. She graduated from Lanier High School, where she met many of her lifelong friends; she rooted for the Texas Longhorns; she had a taste for Tex-Mex and margaritas; and she spoke fondly of the many unique Austin landmarks that were cool before they became the crowded attractions of today.

Like the rest of her family, she was creative. She loved to sew, a skill and passion she picked up at an early age. She ran her own sewing business, designing, making and selling items ranging from clothing to housewares. She helped create elaborate outfits and themes for work Halloween parties and even wrote speeches and poems to accompany them. She also crafted costumes for her beloved grandsons, from Star Wars characters to fire fighters to race car drivers, depending on their interests at the time.

Nancy loved to travel, a trait she picked up from her parents who would take her and her siblings on road trips around the U.S. in their station wagon and home-built travel trailer. As an adult, she enjoyed seeing new places, learning the history of those places, and then trying to teach her sons to appreciate those places. They were unenthusiastic, especially as teenagers, but now as adults they embrace travel and history and appreciation of places in this world. She had an especially fond appreciation of New Mexico, it’s culture and scenery, from her time living in Los Alamos. Her sewing creations, Christmas ornaments, and home decorations reflected this.

Nancy had a heart for the less fortunate. She worked for the Texas Attorney General’s office as in investigator, tracking down parents who failed to pay child support. She really enjoyed her job, and she was good at it. After she retired, she donated her time and talents to put together tote bags with homemade items for children in foster care. And anyone who knew Nancy knew how much she loved the small dogs she had over the years—mini poodles she often rescued—who doted on her as much as she did on them.

She never met a stranger, always willing to jump into conversation with every passerby. They were often treated to stories of her past and of her family, sometimes unwillingly. She was a loving and dedicated mother who continued to provide life advice to her sons up until the end. She was proud of her sons, and they are proud of her.

Despite her many compounding health issues, Nancy was a perennial optimist, always finding and voicing the positives in every situation. In many ways, it was this positive attitude that helped her endure difficult and painful moments in life. Even throughout her last days, she remained a child at heart, finding happiness in little things like funny videos, jewelry, coordinating outfits, and Hatch Green Chile & Sweet Lime cookies from H-E-B.

Nancy loved people, loved music, and loved to dance. Most of all, though, she loved Jesus and found true joy in knowing Him as her savior. She looked forward to being with Him in heaven and no longer being in pain. Now she enjoys both.

Nancy is survived by her sons, Brian (Michele) Rendell and Travis (Ashley) Rendell; her grandsons, Caleb Rendell and Ethan Rendell; her brother, Terry Schultz; her sister-in-law, Donna Schultz; and her dear nieces, Krista, Jenny, and Jessica.

She is preceded in death by her parents, Omar and Dorothy Schultz, and her sister, Diane Schultz.

This past March, I wrote an article titled It’ll get worse before it gets better. My summary was as follows:

When it comes to the U.S. economy, it’ll get worse before it gets better. But my hope is that it gets better by November 2026, here’s why:

Elections

Mid-term elections occur in November 2026. If Republicans want to maintain control of the House, Senate, and state/local seats, then positive change must occur by then.

Economy

Our nation’s debt-to-GDP ratio is over 100%; if this were to continue, we will be unable to pay for Social Security in 10 years. Though both political parties have contributed to this problem over the past 24 years, it’s unreasonable to think they can both bring it down in another 24 years—that’s simply too long, and not likely to come to fruition. Thus, decades of overspending need to be reined in over a shorter period of time than it took to build it up.

Expediency

Though shifting employees from public-sector (government) jobs to private-sector jobs will help lower government spending, that shift doesn’t happen overnight. The private sector can’t just build infrastructure or capacity quickly. Moreover, many businesses and non-government organizations depend on government contracts and grants; cuts in these will also impact unemployment and delay growth.

Thus, this is why the current administration is moving fast to tear things down, because it will take time to build them back up, and they only have until next November.

The question is, can they do it in such a way that doesn’t break the entire economy.

Eight months later, I’m covering where we stand.

If I have any recommendations for you readers, it’s these:

• Diversify your investments by sector and region (international)

• Spend within your means, build up your savings, pay off/stay out of debt to the degree that you’re able

• Work hard, become good at something, be irreplaceable in your workplace

• Most importantly, the administration must do things that propel our economy forward and help common Americans

Elections

In the recent November elections we saw the first part the above summary play out—positive change must occur or the people will voice their concerns at the ballot box. With regard to the economy, positive change has not occurred, thus the economy was a key component to Democrats’ wins.

One of the narratives around Mamdani’s win in New York City is that young people there are fed up with capitalism. Burdened with student debt, unable to find a job, and unable to buy a home, the American Dream does not seem achievable for many of them, so they are looking for a different system. Back in 2020, billionaire conservative Peter Thiel articulated this appeal of socialism for millennials and warned that something must be done to address their concerns.

So, let’s talk about the economy then.

Economy

I have more charts showing negative economic indicators than I have room for in this article, so I’ll just highlight some important ones.

The only thing that seems to be doing well is the stock market, and that’s due to “The Magnificent Seven”—Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, Meta, Microsoft, NVIDIA, and Tesla—which account for 40% of the S&P 500. Consider this: the S&P 500 has nearly doubled in just five years.

The title of this Wall Street Journal article captures the dichotomy of our economy: Feeling Great About the Economy? You Must Own Stocks. It’s an excellent read that highlights our current K-shaped—one in which affluent Americans are doing well, while lower-income Americans are struggling (and voicing their concerns)—see chart below:

My concern here is two-fold: the obvious one is the squeeze on low-income families, the other is that affluent Americans are driving much of the spending in our economy and if that stops, then there might be an accelerating downward spiral.

Artificial Intelligence

The thing I struggle with most here is that much of the stock market growth is driven by spending on AI; however, I’m not seeing (my first use of this phrase) where AI is producing value for our economy (yet). I fully admit that there are a lot of things I don’t know in this world, so I may be missing something here, but it all seems very self-perpetuating:

I use AI almost daily. It’s very useful, it saves me a lot of time on things that I do on my computer. In that regard, it makes me more efficient, but that’s not the case for everyone, and I don’t have a number for how my efficiency (or others’) is impacting the economy. I do know it didn’t help me do yard work today.

Aside from construction on data centers, which is sizeable, I’m just not seeing (second use of this phrase) where it’s driving job growth. Perhaps it’s so transformational that we don’t even know how it will change our job market. The only thing I am seeing is that the demand for service jobs will go up—these are the things AI can’t do well (yet).

If there’s a bright side to the AI spending, it’s that the majority of AI-related capital expenditures are being financed through cash and earnings rather than debt. Goldman Sachs analyst Eric Sheridan had this to say: “while some features of the current period rhyme with past bubbles, and the circularity of deals warrants caution, public market valuations and capital market activity levels remain below their Dot-Com peaks.” And, “most of the Mag 7 continue to generate outsized free cash flows, engage in stock buybacks, and pay dividends—behavior seldom seen during the Dot-Com Bubble.”

The same report cautions, “While valuations and funding models suggest we are not yet in a bubble, the significant outperformance of technology has indeed led to a dangerous degree of market concentration across geographies, sectors, and stocks. The US market’s consistent outperformance over the past 15 years—which has resulted in it accounting for over 60% of the global stock market—is largely attributable to the technology sector’s record share of the US index. Such concentration is extreme, with the top 10 US companies alone making up nearly a quarter of the global public equity market.”

The bottom line advice from Goldman: diversify your stocks by region and sector, and consider the energy requirements for those data centers.

My thoughts: now might be a good time for the US to invest more in nuclear energy, after all, Microsoft is doing it by reopening Three-Mile Island to power its data centers.

Tariffs, Trade, and Manufacturing

I’m also not seeing (third use of this phrase) a net-positive impact of tariffs. Most of the time consumers pay the increased cost, and the intended purpose of increasing manufacturing in the US does not seem to be panning out:

There’s simply too much uncertainty for companies to commit to building manufacturing facilities that would result in jobs. Part of that uncertainty comes from the economy, and part of that comes from whipsawing trade policies.

Jobs & Personal Finance

Speaking of job growth, the recent round of tens-of-thousands of layoffs isn’t helping the economy or consumer sentiment. Over a million jobs have been cut so far this year—that’s 65% more than this time last year, and the highest since COVID.

Interest rates continue to be high and uncertainty about the economy means that companies are cautious about growth and hiring. This, I believe, is why Christmas stuff and advertisements are out earlier than usual (more on this later). Companies are thinking, ‘Grab as much of the spending as early as possible,’ because the bill will come due.

Speaking of bills, total household debt is up:

Again, more charts here than I have space for, but here are four that stand out from the Fed:

1. The number of people who are severely derogatory and 120+ days delinquent on paying debt is up:

2. A growing portion of this debt is being held by 30 year olds:

3. Student loan delinquency has spiked, and auto loan delinquency has risen:

4. Those people in their 20s and 30s are most delinquent in paying their bills:

This all brings us full circle to elections. Young people need jobs, and things must stabilize for companies to hire people.

I haven’t even talked about Social Security here, which was my primary concern in my original article. Bottom line: the situation hasn’t improved, because government spending versus income haven’t improved.

Expediency

I see two reasons why companies rolled out Christmas decorations, music, and advertisements the day after Halloween—two months before the actual holiday1: 1) Nostalgia—Christmas “feels” good for most Americans, so when consumer sentiment is down, they’re helping people feel better. They do this, ultimately, to help their own 2) Revenue—Because, when the music stops (pun intended), they need to capture as much of the seasonal spending as soon as they can…and who knows when it will stop.

Once January (or December) rolls around and credit card bills come due from Christmas spending, the impact on consumer credit will be telling. As Warren Buffett is famous for saying, “Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked.”

Something must propel the economy forward. Foreign relations, the federal budget, housing, jobs—these things must be addressed. Americans are looking for normalcy, economic confidence, and hope that things will get better…sooner rather than later.

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Who’s that guy?

In 2017, I was walking through the airport in Austin when I saw a man sitting at a nondescript table writing on something. I recognized the trophy on the table before I recognized the person—it was the Heisman Trophy. Only after I read the plaque on the trophy did I realize that the person at the table was Earl Campbell. He was signing a football.

I was already running late for my flight, so I didn’t have time to get an autograph, but I did snap the photo below as I passed by. There was only one person getting an autograph. No one else was in line.

Earl Campbell was a famous football running back. He played for the Texas Longhorns in the 1970s, won the Heisman Trophy for being the top player in college football, and then went on to play for the Houston Oilers before retiring in 1986. He was legendary at The University of Texas at Austin, yet now, in the place where he became famous, he was being passed by hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

Earl Campbell, though great in his time, saw his fame fade as new "greats" arose—University of Texas running backs like Ricky Williams in the 1990s and Cedric Benson in the 2000s. However, even those players faded from public attention.

This made me think about people like Julie Andrews, Frankie Avalon, Chubby Checker, Rick Moranis, Emilio Estevez, Mia Sara, Christian Slater—all famous at one time, and yet many young people today have likely never heard of them, even though these once-famous people are all still alive.

We often miss this “turnover” of fame, fooled by the illusion that success and fame are both attainable and lasting. But they’re not—because of something I call the Never-Ending New.

The Arc of our Life

When we imagine the journey to fame, we picture rising to the top and staying there. Life is gravy after that.

We picture it like this:

But what really happens is that someone rises to the top, has a moment—or maybe even a period—of popularity, and then fades. This is what actually happens:

And because there’s always someone else rising to the top, the arc is repeated by new individuals becoming popular and famous:

Since the arcs overlap, it seems like popularity is continual, but it’s really just the continual top that we see. Here’s a more accurate depiction of our perception (blue) versus reality (gray) of popularity and fame:

In the aggregate there is perpetual popularity. But at the individual level, there isn’t.

Also in reality, those arcs aren’t equal. Some peak sooner, some later, and some flame out after a brief flash. These are the one-hit wonders. Occasionally, some last for years, maybe decades. Life-spanning popularity is nearly impossible.

Ted Gioia, in his essay How Long Does Pop Culture Stardom Last?, noted:

I’ve long believed that 80 years is a typical span of pop culture fame for superstars. I’m referring to the biggest names—the lesser stars burn out in 80 months or 80 weeks or 80 days. But the top draws retain their fame for the entire lifetime of their youngest fans—and given current life expectancies of the U.S. audience, that can’t be much more than 80 years.

Here’s an even more accurate depiction of our perception (blue) versus reality (gray) of popularity:

As Gioia explains, that 80-year fame applies only to the superstars—the best of the best.

The average career length is in the NFL is just 3.3 years. It’s only 2.57 years for a running back. The average career length in the NBA is 4.5 years.

A study of over 2.4 million actors found that "one-hit wonders"—actors with only one credited year—are the norm, not the exception. The study also found that the unemployment rate in acting hovers around 90%, and that only about 2% of actors are able to make a living out of acting. That’s not surprising, since the median salary is of a professional actor is $23 per hour.

Another study of YouTubers found that 96.5% of them won’t make enough money to even rise above the poverty line.

Most people who dream of making it to the top fail to understand how rare it is to get there, much less stay there.

As I said earlier, in the aggregate, popularity is perpetual, but at the individual level, it isn’t. The ever-present nature of the high-visibility roles makes fame feel like it lasts longer than it really does for any one person.

This is because of two factors:

1. These high-profile roles always exist.

2. There will always be a "best" among them.

There must always be running backs on NFL teams, and among them, there will always be somone considered the best. Fame is a constant game of King of the Hill—the only constants are the hill and the place at the top.

There will always be the most famous actor, most-viewed YouTube channel, top business leader, richest person, and highest-ranking general. Every field will have a "top," a "best," a "highest-paid."

There’s always a new Survivor champion. A new winner on The Voice. A new reality show to replace The Voice. And one day, hopefully, a new trend to replace reality TV…although I don’t expect it to be better. After all, there will always be awards and recognition for the best in every field and profession, no matter how bad the “best” are.

There’s an old joke: “What do you call the lowest-ranked graduate at medical school?”

The answer: “Doctor.”

To accentuate my point: “What do you call the lowest-ranked graduate at the worst medical school in the world?”

Once again: “Doctor.”

This joke applies to any field. Even the worst military in the world still has generals.

Thanks to the ever-expanding content of the internet, cable TV, and social media, there are more hills being created every day, which makes it feel like there are more opportunities for “fame.” Fame feels more achievable, and thus more people pursue it. For this very reason, fame becomes diluted, and if it ever had any meaning, that meaning is now lost.

But we’re not just diluting fame, really we’re doing is diluting the idea of what excellence and true flourishing in our world look like. Don’t be fooled by titles or trophies or trends. They don’t always reflect true excellence. And even when they do, the top rarely stays popular for long.

The world is made up of people who work hard, take care of their families, and know little fame. Most of us are the gray arc:

But because we’re all different, it’s more like this:

Really, though, it’s made up of millions of arcs, which collectively form this:

And since people and fame existed before us, we can cut off the left side. What we’re left with is the mass of humanity spread out over time. Across the top is a feeling of perpetual fame.

I’m reminded of the Ship of Theseus, a thought experiment that questions whether a ship whose boards are replaced one-by-one remains the same ship once all parts have been replaced. We’re on a constant voyage aboard the Ship of Theseus, never stopping to realize the boards are continually being replaced, yet it seems like the same ship.

Contributing Factors

There are a number of factors contributing to the illusion.

In his 2013 essay The Lottery Society, William Deresiewicz critiques a culture where success seems increasingly based on luck—viral fame, reality TV, influencer culture. Even if the statistics of winning are uncertain, the perception is enough to drive millions toward the fame game.

We also live in an attention economy. Businesses compete for your eyes and clicks. They’re happy to promote you if it helps promote themselves.

David Perell, in his essay Never-Ending Now (the title of which inspired the title of my post), describes the trap:

The structure of our social media feeds place us in a Never-Ending Now. Like hamsters running on a wheel, we live in an endless cycle of ephemeral content consumption—a merry-go-round that spins faster and faster but barely goes anywhere.

We’re trapped in a Never-Ending Now—blind to our place in history, engulfed in the present moment, overwhelmed by the slightest breeze of chaos.

This creates a dangerous dynamic: people chasing fame, and businesses cheering them on.

One outcome is what I call “trend society”—that pressure to adopt whatever’s new, popular, or faddish: the next iPhone, Crocs sandals, bell-bottoms, Golden Goose shoes, rubber wristbands…the list is endless.

To what extent do you follow the next new thing? Do you do it to stand out, or to blend in? Or to blend in by standing out?

The desire to be popular is widespread. But having lived long enough, I know how utterly exhausting that life would be—the need to always be relevant, to always create, to always perform. Constantly chasing popularity is a fool’s errand.

Conclusion

In case you’re under the perception that this is a new problem, reflect on what Marcus Aurelius wrote 2,000 years ago:

About fame: Look at the minds of those who seek fame, observe what they are, and what kind of things they avoid, and what kind of things they pursue. And consider that as the heaps of sand piled on one another hide the former sands, so in life the events which go before are soon covered by those which come after.

This applies to every field where popularity is measured—actors, athletes, scientists, even your profession. You must understand: there will always be a "top." Someone will always be touted as the best. And there will always be someone new.

So don’t be fooled into thinking that you will get there—or that if you do you will stay there. Frankly, how exhausting would that be?

Here are some tips to avoid the traps of fame and popularity:

• Work hard for the sake of working hard, growing in your wisdom and abilities, and accomplishing things. Don’t do it for fame or recognition.

• Pursue a thing because you enjoy doing it, while also knowing you may not enjoy doing it all of the time.

• If fame comes, stay humble. Someone younger, smarter, and better looking is on the way to replace you.

• The higher you rise, the farther you fall—unless you keep your ego grounded.

• People who chase fame and money often compromise their morals. Their fame and popularity are fleeting. Pursue excellence in your daily life.

• Don’t strive for popularity—and don’t stake your personal worth, or net worth, on things that depend on popularity.

It’s okay to be good at something. If being good brings fame, that’s fine. But remember: some of the most talented people are not famous, and some of the most famous people are not talented.

Ted Gioia wrote, “...the only thing that lasts forever in pop culture is the fact that nothing lasts forever.” While I agree, I’d amend it slightly: “The only thing that lasts forever in pop culture is pop culture.”

As we celebrate our country’s 249^th birthday (big one coming up next year!), I thought I’d share a couple of articles to make you feel a little better about our country, and how to make it better.

But first, some history.

Instead of leading with “Happy Independence Day!”, perhaps I should say “Happy Fourth of July!” Because, despite what you might think, Independence Day celebrates neither the day we earned our independence nor the day we began to battle for independence. The great day for which this holiday remembers, falls on the anniversary of our “Declaration of Independence,” not our “Earning of Independence.” This day in history was not the final stroke—either in writing or in combat—of our struggle for independence.

Nor was it the beginning of America’s war for independence. The colonies had already been in the throes of conflict against the British Crown.The Stamp Act of 1765 resulted in riots and protests across the colonies, and the Tea Act of 1773 led to the Boston Tea Party. Discontent grew until on April 19,1775, the famous “shot heard round the world” kicked off the battles of Lexington and Concord. In June of that same year, the Continental Army was formed, and George Washington was appointed commander-in-chief. By 1776, we were a full year into battles of the American Revolutionary War.

The grievances against the British government piled up. Twenty-seven of them, ranging from obstruction of justice, interference with self-government, economic exploitation, and the use of British armies, are listed in the Declaration itself.

And despite multiple attempts to reason with the British government, no positive changes were made. The Declaration acknowledges this:

We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity.

So, we officially broke away, declaring our independence in July 1776.

King George III of England did not publicly acknowledge our declaration until October 1776 in his a speech before British Parliament. He opened by chastising us, his delusional “unhappy people”:

Nothing could have afforded me so much satisfaction as to have been able to inform you, at the opening of this session, that the troubles, which have so long distracted my colonies in North America, were at an end; and that my unhappy people, recovered from their delusion, had delivered themselves from the oppression of their leaders, and returned to their duty: but so daring and desperate is the spirit of those leaders, whose object has always been dominion and power, that they have now openly renounced all allegiance to the crown, and all political connection with this country; they have rejected, with circumstances of indignity and insult, the means of conciliation held out to them under the authority of our commission; and have presumed to set up their rebellious confederacies for independent states.

I especially appreciate the ironies of the closing lines in his speech, with subtleties delivered in typical monarchical fashion:

No people ever enjoyed more happiness, or lived under a milder government, than those now revolted provinces: the improvements in every art, of which they boast, declare it; their numbers, their wealth, their strength by sea and land, which they think sufficient to enable them to make head against the whole power of the mother-country, are irrefragable proofs of it. My desire is to restore to them the blessings of law and liberty, equally enjoyed by every British subject, which they have fatally and desperately exchanged for all the calamities of war, and the arbitrary tyranny of their chiefs.

Yeah…the colonists were happy, and the government overlords were mild. I’m sure the colonists were eager to be restored to the “blessings of law and liberty.”

For the next five years we warred.

The final major military engagement of the American Revolutionary War occurred at the Battle of Yorktown, in September and October 1781. But it wasn’t until September 1783 that the Treaty of Paris was signed, officially ending the war.

So, if you think of Independence Day as a final event, a celebration of victory, you’re missing the whole story. It was but a declaration—a very important one—amid other actions and events and battles that ultimately led to our actual independence.

Articles

In this piece, Bari Weiss discusses the “Join, or Die” cartoon created by Benjamin Franklin and its relevance today. In her words, “This Independence Day, we don’t just celebrate the birthday of the words that made us—but the choice to live by them two and a half centuries later.”

The Free Press

Bari Weiss: American Regeneration

As we approach July 4, I’ve been thinking a lot about this cartoon…

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a year ago · 1116 likes · 396 comments · Bari Weiss

The author’s lead-in to the below piece: “My brother-in-law is a truck-driving, Rogan-listening Covid skeptic. I was a speechwriter for Obama. I assumed we’d never be friends. I was wrong.”

The Free Press

You Don’t Need the Same Politics to Surf Together

Here at The Free Press, we believe in loving thy neighbor. And this week, in which we celebrate the birth of our nation, is perhaps the best reminder that Americans can work together, even when we have wildly different habits and diverging beliefs. So it’s our pleasure to share an excerpt from a brand-new memoir, by onetime Barack Obama speechwriter David Litt—who thought he and his truck-driving, Joe Rogan-listening, vaccine skeptical brother-in-law had absolutely nothing in common. Until they started surfing together. —The Editors…

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a year ago · 392 likes · 380 comments · David Litt

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Some History

Memorial Day honors those who died while serving in our country’s armed forces. Though it wasn’t named Memorial Day until after World War I, the holiday traces its roots to observances that followed the Civil War. It is a sad and unfortunate fact that it was in our own civil war that we lost the most troops—nearly three quarters of a million. The war where the most soldiers died was the one we fought against ourselves.

The Battle of Gettysburg occurred in Pennsylvania in 1863 from July 1 to July 3, resulting in Union forces defeating Confederate forces. This was halfway through the American Civil War, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. Over 7,000 soldiers were killed at Gettysburg, and more than 30,000 were wounded. It was the deadliest battle of the Civil War.

Four months later, on November 19, 1863, approximately 15,000 people gathered at the battlefield to commemorate the sacrifice of Union soldiers. Abraham Lincoln’s speech lasted only a few minutes, which was two hours shorter than the previous speech given that day. It was so short, that photographers didn’t even get of photo of him speaking. The below image is all we have of him, and it was taken before he spoke.

Zooming in, we see a blurry Lincoln in the center.

The Gettysburg Address

Before we get into my analysis, I recommend you read through the speech in its entirety. I even recommend speaking it out loud to get its full effect.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

An Analysis

When reading the speech, the first thing that stands out is the rhythm, and how it carries you along, flowing from one phase to another. Yes, there are abrupt stops, like throughout the second paragraph, but those, I think, are intended to cause pause and reflection on purpose. The last sentence in that second paragraph really serves as a period to the first two paragraphs.

From there, the third paragraph grows in scope and tone, building on phrasing in previous sentences. It peaks at the final sentence, a lengthy 82 words, almost half of the entire speech! This last sentence not only ties together themes throughout the speech, but encapsulates a vision for the future.

As you dissect the speech, you’ll notice the following key themes:

• Birth, life and death: fathers, birth, conceived, new, live, lives, living, dead, died, perish, final resting place

• Balance and comparison: civil war, testing, gave lives…that nation live, living and dead, above our poor power, add or detract, larger sense…little note, long remember…never forget, we say…they did, dedicated to work rather than saying words, fought, dedicated to task rather than saying words, us the living…these dead, birth/living & dead, that & this, there & here, they & we

• Alliteration: four…fathers…forth, score…seven, continent…conceived, new nation, poor power

• Rhyme: great, dedicate, consecrate,

• Repetition: we - 10, here - 8, dedicate(d) - 6, dead/died - 4, nation - 5, lives/living - 4

• Sense of place (that zooms in, then zooms back out): this continent, a new nation, a battlefield, a portion of that field, this ground, here, this nation, the earth

• Sense of vision focused on the future and progress: a new nation; to the proposition that all men are created equal; any nation; can long endure; final resting place; nation might live; long remember; unfinished work; thus far so nobly advanced; great task remaining before us; that cause; not have died in vain; new birth of freedom; that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish

To illustrate these attributes, I created a diagram that breaks each sentence and phrase into its corresponding component, so you can see how much is really embedded in this short speech.

You can download it here:

Gettysburg Address

28.8KB ∙ PDF file

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Now, let’s look at each sentence, phrase and word.

“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

• We start with a time, 87 years in the past, 1776. This frames the speech, and is important for timing and wording, which changes as the speech makes its pivot.

• Clever alliteration, both with “fathers” and “forth,” but also a similar “ah” sound in “fathers” and “brought.”

• Size-wise, he starts with “continent,” but then scales down to “nation,” soon we’ll focus more narrowly.

• He uses two words that will repeat throughout—”conceive” and “dedicate.” The birth/conception one is especially important; it starts here with, “conceived in Liberty,” then the entire speech ends with “new birth.”

• “the proposition that all men are created equal” - this is the first of ideals and vision for the future that he posits. There will be many.

  ---

“Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.”

• He transitions from history (four score and seven years ago) to present (now).

• Interesting that he doesn’t use the word “fighting” here, but instead uses “engaged,” which is a softer word. He uses “fighting” later on, but in past tense and referring to those “who fought” to advance unfinished work.

• The first reference to balance and comparison by using the word “testing.”

• “testing whether that nation or any nation…can long endure” - I also see this phrasing as part of his focus on vision/future/progress.

• This is the first time he refers back to something in the speech by saying “that nation;” he will use this technique multiple times.

• He repeats the words “conceived” and “dedicated.”

  ---

“We are met on a great battle-field of that war.”

• First use of the word “great,” which also rhymes with “consecrate” and “dedicate.”

• “That war” – referring back to the civil war mentioned earlier in speech.

  ---

“We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.”

• Use of “dedicate” again, but in a different sense; the first was dedicated to a cause, now we are dedicating in honor.

• “That field” – referring back to the battlefield.

• “That nation” – referring back to the nation dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

• We started at continent, then scaled down to nation, then battlefield, now a portion of that field.

• First and second use of the word “live,” but in two different ways that balance one another—”gave lives”…so “nation might live.”

• The word “here” is snuck in in such a way that we almost don’t even notice it. Throughout the rest of the speech this word will appear seven more times.

  ---

“It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.”

• This is the big pivot point in the speech, as noted by the next sentence starting with “but.”

• On the surface, I think this phrase relates to the dedication the field, but when taken more broadly, I think it refers to being engaged in a civil war to test whether a nation, dedicated to the idea that all men are created equal, can endure.

  ---

“But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground.”

• Lincoln zooms out here to a broader view by use of the phrase “larger sense.”

• Again, he uses “dedicate” and “consecrate.”

• We also now see a shift away from “that” (field/war/nation) to “this,” which makes his points more personal to the audience.

  ---

“The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.”

• The use of opposites: “living and dead,” “struggle,” “above our poor power,” “add or detract”

• Another use of the word “consecrate.”

• Another use of the word “here.”

• Alliteration: “poor power.”

  ---

“The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.”

• More opposites: “little note…long remember…never forget,” “we say…they did”

• Note how smooth the first few words roll off the tongue: “world will little.” Part of it is due to alliteration between the words “world” and “will,” but it also comes from how the end “l” of “will” leads to the start of “little.”

• Another use of the word “here.”

  ---

“It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.”

• Now we pivot to future actions that we must take.

• Another use of “live” (living).

• Another use of “dedicate.”

• Another use of “here.”

• More on vision/future/progress: “unfinished work…thus far so nobly advanced”

  ---

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—

• Another use of “here.”

• Another use of “dedicate.”

• More on vision/future/progress: “great task remaining before us.”

• Also, did you note how these last two sentences use the word “rather” to highlight that words alone aren’t enough—work/task is required.

  ---

“that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—”

• Another use of “dead.”

• Use of opposites: “we take…they gave,” but also in the use of “increased” vs “full measure.”

  ---

“that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—”

• Again, a move away from that or those to “these.”

• Another use of “dead,” and also “died.”

• Vision/future/progress: “not have died in vain.”

  ---

“that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—”

• Earlier, we zoomed in to a portion of the battlefield, now we zoom out—“this nation, under God.”

• Here we have another reference to conception and life, and a circling back to the beginning sentence as we focus on a “new birth of freedom.”

“and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

• Here we have a great crescendo, with rhythm and repetition and vision to end the speech.

• The final zoom back out in scale to “the earth.”

Though we’re not quite sure of its origin, the quote, “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter,” gets after the idea that fewer, more purposeful words can make a greater impact than simply throwing many words at an audience.

I think this is best seen in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. No one remembers the two-hour long speech that preceded his, but we surely remember his famous few words.

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